| "We're A Miracle" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] |
Reviewed By: AtlantisWolf [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2007 13:04 CST
Comment/Review:
Woops, almost forgot to mention, if you end up editing this fic to fix it, please PM me. I would love to read it after it is fixed.
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Reviewed By: AtlantisWolf [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2007 13:03 CST
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 3 of 10
Comment/Review:
*sigh* I hate having to tell people this, but you really need to improve your writing before you attempt to write anything else. Your number one problem: paragraphs and spacing. Learn to use them. A new paragraph should begin, for example, every time a new person speaks. Example: "Tenten says something." action goes on. "Naruto says something." "Tenten says something." More action. End example. I hope you will take this to heart and learn something from it. I don't hate you, this isn't a flame. This is what is called constructive criticism. I am trying to help you. *Please note that if I sound like I am talking to a little child, it's because I don't know your age or how you will respond. It is not meant out of disrespect.*
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Reviewed By: justordinary90 On: October 06, 2006 16:53 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i love it!!i think you should keep on going..maybe some ninja attack them and they are welcomed back in kohana?just a thought..
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Title: good one shot
Reviewed By: The Judge [MediaMiner Member] On: August 24, 2006 10:10 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
it is very good. u just need to separate the the paragraphs or possibly make this into a full length story.
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