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| "Distraction" Reviews/Comments [ 10 ] | Reviewed By: Belle ange [MediaMiner Member] On: February 17, 2007 20:11 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Excelent writing! The spelling and grammar were well concentrated, the story line was simplistic and absolutely deliscious and the over all story rocked my socks!!! Maybe you could give a friend of mine tips for good betaing. She really wants to be a good writer and while her plot lines are terrific, her grammar sucks! Sorry if I'm gushing, I just have a pet peeve about speech. I'm an English major, after all. Anyway, all I can say is yum! I love Ryo/Bakura pairings and that was certainly a new fav. Keep up the super work and (shameless story plug) check out my friends story Highschool Rockstars. She's gotten sooo many flames on other sites, it would be great to have someone give her a true critique.
| Reviewed By: RyousGirl567 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 17, 2007 10:19 CST
Comment/Review:
As one can guess from my username, I'm in love with Ryou and my Gods did you make me fall in love with him all over again. I think the best line in this entire fic was "I have yet to meet a man who turned down sex." Exactly what has "innocent" little Ryou been doing in his spare time? ^_~ I think a dominant Ryou is sexy. Ok, now away from the fangirl-ish rantings and on to the actual writing critique. I am ecstatic that you either have perfect grammar/spellin/etc. or you realize that you don't and use a beta. Sometimes authors/authoresses are stubborn or just plain ignorant, and that annoys me to no end. The story flowed quite well. I liked how you conveyed Ryou's "I-want-to-be-innocent-but-I-need-some" attitude with his statement to Bakura at the end. I personally enjoy writing one-shots myself, so there is no harm done in a short and sweet fic, or in this case, short and sexy. Overall nicely done and quite entertaining. My highest praises to you (and, of course, your beta). Happy writings from a critiquing fan! ~Tori-chan~ P.S. I tend to use phrases, diction, syntax, etc. that sounds as if I'm quite a bit older than I am, which I apologize for. My friends and even my sisters get angry with me for being probably the only high school student to speak as a 35-year-old English teacher would. ^^;;;
| Reviewed By: lo On: December 10, 2006 21:25 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
That was very good, well written and just plain fun.
| Reviewed By: Kurayami Ryuu [MediaMiner Member] On: December 06, 2006 18:13 CST
Comment/Review:
Nnahghagah. In other words, I can die happy now. *blissful sigh* Can I just say that this was insanely hot? Ryou was pretty OOC, I have to admit, but it was soooo friggin hot that I didn't care ^___^ It's been way too long since I've read a good Ryou/Bakura lemon, hee. It may take a while cus I'm slow like that, but I think I need to make a serious effort to read all your fics...
| Reviewed By: Shadow Mistress (NLI) On: September 28, 2006 00:43 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Mmmm, deliciously hot and smexy. Gods, that was so good and it was especially good because I haven't read any BxR lemons for at least a month!!! Gods, I miss it, *drools* I can't seem to speak very coherently right now. lol. Sex is better than revenge, mehehe. Very nice portrayal of an agressive Ryou, very nice. You should see my chesire grin, XD. ^_______^ I just couldn't resist reading a one-shot on my fav pairing in the world and I'm so glad I did. Wonderfully written!
| Reviewed By: Saiyamaru-nli On: September 28, 2006 00:11 CDT
Comment/Review:
Oh yumm, very nice. Though shouldn't Ryou say "Only if you DON'T insist on revenge?" The way it is implies that if Bakura wants more sex, all he has to do is go after Yugi/Yami. It's like offering motivation to at least Act like he's going to get revenge.
| Reviewed By: wild4rose7cool On: September 27, 2006 07:30 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wow i'm drooling so bad right now! it was too hot!!! this is how every ryou/bakura fic should be!! i love it how ryou took the lead and seduced his dark! it's always bakura seducing ryou in the fics i read so this one really made me happy!! great job and you should write more like this one!!
| Reviewed By: sglily - nli On: September 26, 2006 08:31 CDT
Comment/Review:
Wow. Now THAT'S the way to write a one-shot! Loved it! So damn hot! You know I love an aggressive Ryou... you managed to capture him beautifully... seducing his dark in order to keep Bakura from exacting revenge... and I also have to second tsusuji's question because I thought the same thing... where in the world DID Ryou learn to do that? ; ) However, I guess we (and the rest of the world) will never know... Nicely done.
| Reviewed By: tsusuji On: September 26, 2006 06:00 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Oh yes, sex is better than revenge, especially sex with a hot little hikari Ryou! It's such a joy to read a new Bakura/Ryou story, I'm so happy you wrote this! Now, I have to wonder where Ryou did learn all of that... hm, maybe Yugi helped him find the way to keep Bakura from going after Yami Yugi? Or maybe he just borrowed Jonouchi's porn videos. Of course we know Ryou isn't quite as innocent as he seems, anyway!
| Reviewed By: Midnight_Princess [MediaMiner Member] On: September 26, 2006 05:56 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow great fic. I really enjoyed reading it.
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