| "Raditz, the Firstborn Son" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] |
Reviewed By: Katiefoolery [MediaMiner Member] On: November 03, 2006 20:05 CST
Comment/Review:
It's a fascinating start. :) I like the way you're setting up various storylines and exploring the nature of the characters you're using. Poor Bardock, fearing the worst of the fate of his first-born! - When you're writing out your dialogue, you can make it easier for people to follow if you start a new paragraph when a new person speaks. It can be difficult to keep track of who's saying what if there's no separation between the lines. :D - I'm looking forward to reading some more of this story and finding out what's happened to Raditz.
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Title: Good start
Reviewed By: StarbearerTM [MediaMiner Member] On: November 02, 2006 20:25 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Comment/Review:
This is a good start to the fanfiction. I like your character names and exposition of Vegetasei. It will be interesting to see how this develops. Celrazi and Bardock's moment of tenderness was a very nice touch! Nappa's character is spot on. It's not everyday I see a story which tackles Raditz's first purging mission, so I'm excited about this. Great jo so far!
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