| "Trial" Reviews/Comments [ 15 ] |
Reviewed By: ANGELBOY613 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 27, 2008 01:34 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Comment/Review:
So far it seems the only reason you had Sasuke impregnate Naruto in public was so he could be charged with a crime and get hit a lot. About that_you said he left scrolls explaining everything. He left one to Naruto explaining everything and giving him money and his land and one to the Hokage explaining everything. So why was he treated like they didn't know anything? Confining him to the village and only giving him D rank missions and sentry duty doesn't make sense either. He already explained why he did what he did. He killed Orochimaru and Itachi-2 of the villages and Naruto's greatest enemies-He did a great service to the village. He is probably the 2nd most powerful ninja (if Naruto is the 1st); not using his power on missions and to protect the village would be retarded. He's bound by the seal to behave; but even more than that; he would never leave, betray or purposely hurt his family. This kind of didn't make sense either: "At this time I can't promise you anything but before you choose death remember you left me with a child that is as much yours as mine. Don't rob him of his parent" Naruto said that he couldn't promise Sasuke anything-so why is he saying that he has a responsibility as a father (if Naruto can't even promise him the role of a father, or a future with Naruto; why would he want to live_that was his only reason for returning)
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Reviewed By: ANGELBOY613 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 27, 2008 00:31 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Comment/Review:
It's a very interesting story so far. Don't quite understand why you had to have Sasuke make love to Naruto in front of everybody. With Sasuke's sharingan all he had to do was look at the spectators and put them to sleep or make them believe that they were seeing something else. Maybe he could have turned the sheild surrounding them opague. He didn't need to put Naruto under a sleep jutsu either. He could have used the sharingan to make Naruto experience his first time making love with Sasuke in any environment_like the privacy of a bedroom and made the experience special for Naruto. I can't believe that Sasuke with his possessiveness and love for Naruto, that he would want anybody to see his dobe like that. He would believe that it was his right alone to see Naruto like that. But it's your story_maybe you have some kink for public sex, or maybe you will make the reason for it clear in the next chapter-why it was necessary for everybody to see this happen. Does he not understand the humiliation Naruto will suffer. Though I used a lot of words to explain it: the only thing I don't quite get is the public sex--otherwise the rest of the story, the majority of the story to this point is a good read.
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Reviewed By: J0kEr [MediaMiner Member] On: June 02, 2007 21:01 CDT
Comment/Review:
The ending was great..so sweet that things went good for Naruto and Sasuke.... I LOVED THE STORY... GREAT JOB!!!!!
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Reviewed By: Dream Keeper [MediaMiner Member] On: June 02, 2007 19:02 CDT
Comment/Review:
OoooOOOooo! I loved this story! It was really good, and I loved the ending. I normally don't like the ending to stories, but I think you wrote it perfectly and there were no things left out there. Great job! ^_^
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Reviewed By: J0kEr [MediaMiner Member] On: March 22, 2007 17:29 CDT
Comment/Review:
LOVED THE CHAPTER. im realy glad that Sasuke is back. and i could just imagine their kid he is ssoo cute!! If you do continue this it would be REALY great. If you don't , good things don't last forever right. Either way I LOVE IT!! *muah*
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Title: Trial
Reviewed By: Miss_Under_Stood_07 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2007 23:49 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like the way the author came up with a fresh concept to the ongoing SasuNaru yaoi fics. I like the way this writer delved into Sasuke's genius side and not so much his sadistic side. I also like the fact that Naruto wasn't a complete moron and was not taken in by Sasuke's charms...All in all it was a very enjoyable story...I can't wait for another one by this author....
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Reviewed By: InuyashaNaruto [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2007 21:54 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OH YEYEYEYEYEY another excellent chap. looking forward to more it really is a shame he has a curse mark now!
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Title: this needs more
Reviewed By: firekitten On: February 06, 2007 16:24 CST
Comment/Review:
ok i relly like the story and the plot is original but the ending is way way way to open it neeeeds an epiloge. no realy an ending should not seem like a cliffie. but i did enjoy the story and the plot.
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Reviewed By: InuyashaNaruto [MediaMiner Member] On: December 17, 2006 21:12 CST
Comment/Review:
I loved your story but I am hoping there will be more I would love to know what happens to Naruto and the baby so please continue this is very good.
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Title: chap 4
Reviewed By: kitora [MediaMiner Member] On: December 03, 2006 18:29 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
sorry it took so long but i haven't really been reading alot. But It was a breathtaking addition to the story. But it was short..... jk loved it. Kit.
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Title: chapter 3
Reviewed By: kitora [MediaMiner Member] On: November 26, 2006 20:00 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
yet again you wow me with your splended writing. just as good if not better than the first two. luv kit.
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Reviewed By: yaoi godess On: November 26, 2006 05:14 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Fuck ya baby. i luve it. Update soon.
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Reviewed By: puru dollie On: November 24, 2006 10:43 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
your story is so super awesome i hope you update soon...super!
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Reviewed By: kitora [MediaMiner Member] On: November 21, 2006 23:18 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is fantastic and it's a new idea. i enjoyed this chapter as much as the first i look forword to the next. Ps. if you want to know how to read naruto online for free E-mail me asking kk. Bye.
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Reviewed By: kitora [MediaMiner Member] On: November 19, 2006 20:40 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
more more. when will you be writing again?
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