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| "Crossing to the Other side" Reviews/Comments [ 12 ] | Reviewed By: Savvy0X [MediaMiner Member] On: June 02, 2007 21:44 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
This story was great! Sorry, I didn't read it sooner, but life got busy. Overall, you had a good plot, and a good writing style. I loved this. However you can still improve. Throughout the story you spelled some things wrong, and some chapters didn't flow all that well from paragraph to paragraph. Also, sometimes it was a little hard to follow. I hate writing criticism, because I'm scared that the writer will get upset. Please don't get upset, I'm just trying to help you improve your writing. I suggest that instead of getting it out as fast as you can, take your time to write each chapter and proofread, edit, and spell check every chapter. If there is one thing that most readers can not stand, it's incorrect spelling, bad grammar, cliches, and Mary-sues. I don't think Kat was a Mary-Sue at all, and your plot was great. I hope to read new things by you,and I agree that you shoudn't write a sequel to this one. I have one request as well. Readers love romance and angst, which I'm not going to lie, you lacked. Romance isn't all about sex and lustful attraction. Cuddling is great, hugs are great, not everything has to be hot and heavy. It's those small little moments that makes us readers squeal and bounce in our seats. Now angst. What is a story without angst? Honestly, in my opinion, a story isn't a story without angst. Another thing, I think lacked a bit was the personl connection between the character and the reader. That is probably the biggest thing in writing OC fics, or in any story. The reader has to be able to relate, and for me that's prbably the biggest thing. I like to be able to feel the character's happiness and their pain. It makes me feel more engaged and connected to the story. Again please don't get too upset with me. That really isn't my intention at all. I really want to help you improve. I might have been the only one to read and review this, but I think maybe you should try posting this on a different site. Fanfiction.net is good. Possibly Quizilla, and I found another which I personally feel is better that both, even though it has a lot less of a number of members. Great story and I anticipate another story! ~Savvy
| Reviewed By: Savvy0X [MediaMiner Member] On: May 07, 2007 21:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
Haha why is Sasuke blushing? Great chapter! It was very interesting, I hope there's a little romanceor fluff in the next one! I can't wait! ~Savvy
| Reviewed By: Savvy0X [MediaMiner Member] On: April 20, 2007 21:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
It wasn't cliche at all! Okay maybe just a little, but everything else was very good. The chapter was good, and I got the general idea, but I'll be honest, it was a little messy. I don't know, I think it could have flowed a bit better, but it was still very good. I love it and I highly anticipate the next one! ~Savvy
| Reviewed By: Savvy0X [MediaMiner Member] On: April 07, 2007 12:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ahhh...Oh God he's not going to die! He better not or Sakura, Sasuke, and Itachi will kick his ass for leaving Kat. Wait, does this means Gaara is dead? Gaara can't be dead! Oh I highly anticipate the next one!
| Reviewed By: Savvy0X [MediaMiner Member] On: April 06, 2007 20:27 CDT
Comment/Review:
Oh my God I had to read the paragraph between Itachi and Kisame like 5 times before it clicked in my head that he was going back! YAY! Oh I love it! It was a great chapter and I anticipate the next one! Ok readers: It's pretty pathetic when a fellow reader is asking you to review, but really it's not hard. Just say good story fill in the letters thing and hit go and you are done now please; REVIEW!
| Reviewed By: Savvy0X [MediaMiner Member] On: March 24, 2007 10:58 CDT
Comment/Review:
Oh it's getting better. I loved it as usual and I highly anticipate the next one! I hope Neji kicks Kabuto's ass! Readers once again: REVIEW!
| Reviewed By: Savvy0X [MediaMiner Member] On: March 22, 2007 18:51 CDT
Comment/Review:
Haha that was awesome. I can't even imagine what Naruto's face looked like. Oh my God I nearly fainted when I read that Sasuke kissed Sakura. My God it was just so unexpected. This was totally awesome and I highly anticipate the next one! To all readers: Review damnit!
| Reviewed By: Savvy0X [MediaMiner Member] On: March 15, 2007 15:31 CDT
Comment/Review:
That was awesome as usual. The next chapter should be intersting. Konoha is in some deep shit right now. Naruto can be such an idiot, but hey he can't help it. There must be more people that read this, so why am I the only one that reviews? Anyways, I highly anticipate the next one! ~Savvy
| Reviewed By: Savvy0X [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2007 11:53 CST
Comment/Review:
That is a very interesting theory. Most people don't even try to use their imagination, and really think about what REALLY happend to the Uchiha Clan, so this is very nice. The only problem that I find about it is that Itachi showed Sasuke all of the images of how he slaughtered the Clan and he did it with Tsukoyomi, but if Orochimaru did this how could he have replicated a Kekkai Genkai? I don't think you can. That's my only problem, then again, I may have confused your explanation slightly so I apologize if I am wrong. Anyways, I was expecting Kat to hug Sasuke there, but it didn't happen...oh well. I loved as usual and I anticipate the next one!
| Reviewed By: Savvy0X [MediaMiner Member] On: February 24, 2007 01:27 CST
Comment/Review:
Another great chapter! I'm really finding a hard time picturing Naruto kissing a girl and I'm trying to get his voice more masculine, but I just can't do it! Ugh...I'll get it eventually. I loved it though, and I was about ready to hit whoever was snickering. I anticipate the next one!
| Reviewed By: Savvy0X [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2007 15:07 CST
Comment/Review:
Those were awesome updates and this story is getting even better! You have the same thoughts as me on the Uchiha massacre. Although, I never thought of the possibility of Orochimaru doing it. However, I always thought that in some twisted way, Itachi did it all for Sasuke in the end. I really love this storyy and I await the next chapter!
| Reviewed By: Savvy0X [MediaMiner Member] On: February 05, 2007 20:39 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I LOVE this story. It's so good and different too. I was getting tired of the crappy ones on quizilla and the boring ones on fanfiction. Don't get me wrong some of the stories on fanfiction are really good, but this is a nice change. I highly anticipate the next one!
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