|
| "In The End" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Reviewed By: Graypheonix85 On: January 11, 2008 14:55 CST
Comment/Review:
You have some spelling mistakes, go back and rewrite this when you have the chance, like at the very end, "Now Jessica's friends had warred Inu Yasha of Jessica's temper when being woken up the night before. At the time he didn't believe them since they were smashed and Jessica was already passed out at that point, but they put up a sign as a percussion to warn people." First of all, it's spelled precaution, and warned instead of warred. Just wanted to point that out. Besides the grammar mistakes, the latest chapter was good, showed a real response to all the shit that hit the fan as a result of the fight with Sephiroth. Anyway, continue to update, it's good to read this on occasion. Ja ne.
| Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: November 04, 2007 02:16 CST
Comment/Review:
Neh, in my opinion the only reason people dislike self inputs is because the author usually doesn't describe the reasons for a lot of the personal behavior (small ticks, personal signs or gestures, or personal pet peaves that only the author knows the reason for). Mainly, it's that no one like Mary Sues or John Does, or whatever. Still, the latest fight was better (though I never did catch when Jessica did the knee of death). Also, did Jessica do the protect spell, or was that someone else? Either way, it'd be interesting to know. Still, continue to develop the characters, and do some chapter rewrites when you get aroudn to it. THat, and update often. So, ja ne.
| Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: October 30, 2007 04:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hmmm, sorry I haven't written a review yet, but my interest was mainly in reading this story for a while and getting a feel for it. Now that I do, I can say it's got a decent concept (fairly unique, though not terribly innovative) with a decent, though very informal, writing style. I'm giving you an honest critique, because there are some minor things you can do better (the combat could be a bit more detailed, and the training is sketchy at best). Still, this is looks like the work of a fairly new author, not a writer, but the story and your writing style both show potential. So, I would going back and thinking about rewriting this story in about 6 months, and seeing where you can expand the story, add more details to the scenery, and how things go from there. Overall, this story looks like a first work, and is a pretty decent one. Just keep writing, and working on improving your writing style, and see how it goes from there. Ja ne.
| Reviewed By: silver_wolf [MediaMiner Member] On: December 30, 2006 18:57 CST
Comment/Review:
UPDATE ONEGAI!~~!^_^
|
|
|
