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| "A Journey Revised" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Title: Very Fascinating
Reviewed By: angel-of-time On: March 14, 2007 14:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I thought the info about her illness was not enough actually, not too much. I still do not know what it actually causes and what can cause it properly. Though, I have found the information you gave me about it quite fascinating (my mother has one of those illnesses, that is why I was quite thankful for that). It was overall a very good Chapter, unfortunately, this time around, I found more Spelling and Grammar mistakes then the last time you wrote. I am glad that you wrote down her Team Members, it made it that much easier to remember the last read Chapter ^.^, thanks for that! And your description improved a little in this Story Chapter too! Very good! You are getting there slowly but surely! I could picture some events that happened during the combat. Well, thank you for updating and I hope to read more soon. Good Luck!
| Title: Glad to read another one!
Reviewed By: angel-of-time On: March 10, 2007 17:30 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
You did seem to improve a little during the writing phase for the third Chapter. But I had to read through the other Chapters once again to remember which Pokemon Rey had actually caught. If you do not Update for a while, or intend to stop for a month or so, I would suggest you write down which Pokemon she has already caught during the story line. It helps the readers and might just trigger their memory. The battle you wrote was a fairly reasonable one. But the battle sequence was rather short. I couldn't picture Cyndaquil, neither Bulbasaur. I just couldn't bring forth the battle picture in my head, making the read a little more difficult for me. Even though I really like this story, please work on a little more description. Picture the battle in your mind clearly and write down what you see. If you see a muddy path with a few stepping stones poking out at the surface write that, explain what kind of area she suddenly entered. I know it is a little difficult at the beginning (I had a lot of trouble) but the story might catch more attention that way. People love to picture the story in their mind, thinking they can be that Trainer. Other then that I hope you do gain more time for this story, have fun writing!
| Title: ^-^
Reviewed By: angel-of-time On: January 13, 2007 10:47 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This story has a high potential, it doesn't lack any real descriptions, but it does go rather quick through battle stages. I found a few spelling errors, but which author doesn't write a mistake once in a while? It is cool though that she got a Bulbasaur, it is a very calm Pokemon and it seemed to get over its past abuse rather fast in the end (or maybe the Bulbasaur just thought realistically). In all, I would like to read more of your chapters when they come out and hope you enjoy to write them. Never give up ^^
| Title: PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!
Reviewed By: Cool_Girl41 On: December 28, 2006 22:01 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is the best story i`ve ever read.PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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