Reviewed By: xXdonutsXx [MediaMiner Member] On: February 04, 2007 20:59 CST
Comment/Review:
um ... i couldn't read your story. how old are you anyway? i couldn't read it because it was so ... er ... disorganised. you would think that doesn't matter but the first sentence alone broke all those little rules they taught me in second grade. i think you should find a beta. also, don't make the chapters so short. even if you have to combine several chapters to get a decent size, it's worthwhile for the reader to sit down to something that wont take five seconds to read. i'll stop bashing on you but i really hope you'll take my advice into consideration. i think you have potential!!
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