| "X-Rated" Reviews/Comments [ 9 ] |
Reviewed By: RadioActiveRedhead [MediaMiner Member] On: March 09, 2008 16:36 CDT
Comment/Review:
Nice fanfic, good idea. A few spelling errors, some that the spell checker might not catch. When InuYasha first meets Kagome, you spell "Scent" wrong. You used "sent" as in "He sent her to the store for food". Also when he takes her to the bedroom you say "He chaptured her lips" I think you meant "Captured". I hope you don't mind, I'm writing this review as I read, editing it for you. I think fiery is spelled like that, not Firey. A little after that section you wrote "Dessert" a dessert is a pastry, cake or pie. Desert is like something you find in the eastern countries. When Marisol calls back the next day after the sexiness, you forgot the N in Hung up the phone. I do realize you do not have a beta-reader. I hope my review helps you until you do get one. If you would like...I could be your beta. All you have to do is contact me, I'll give you my MSN and you can let me reread your stories for you before you post them. I'm not that bad at writing. Please, think about it. I'm offering it up to you. Sincerely, RAR.
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Reviewed By: ladydeath31178 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 16, 2007 00:49 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I loved how its starting when will you update? I trully look forward to it
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Reviewed By: Tarzan14 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 16, 2007 02:15 CST
Comment/Review:
great start. where's kagome going? and when will they meet again? can't wait for next update
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Reviewed By: alakab4m [MediaMiner Member] On: January 15, 2007 17:23 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i really can't wait for you to update!! that was a really good start to your story. keep up the good work!
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Reviewed By: virgin_ma_name On: January 14, 2007 17:02 CST
Comment/Review:
hey i loved the chapter when r u going to write another keep writing the plot is really good
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Reviewed By: bobby pin On: January 14, 2007 12:36 CST
Comment/Review:
Certainly different. This is very well-written and the storyline is quite gripping. More please!
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Reviewed By: bbbeleana On: January 14, 2007 07:23 CST
Comment/Review:
I like the summary, too. And I 'd like to know what Kagome wrote on the note. :) Kagome is a miko? She could feel I's demonic aura?! Well, hope to the next chapter. :)
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Reviewed By: veed On: January 14, 2007 03:21 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i liked your summary so i'm lookin foward to it. You have some words that are not used corectly or spelled correctly but not too much its cool. get a beta, its useful.
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Reviewed By: Akihana [MediaMiner Member] On: January 13, 2007 23:25 CST
Comment/Review:
It looks interesting. The lemon itself was good, and I would have been very bummed if you'd left it hanging like that. This looks like it will form a story quite nicely. Great job, and hope to see more soon!
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