Title: Faper In Training
Reviewed By: inu - baby [MediaMiner Member] On: February 08, 2009 02:05 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well it was pretty good I guess. But you should make more paragraphs it's hard to read with all the words scrunched together (it hurts my eyes). You weren't very descriptive (like when Inuyasha and Kagome have sex; was a big bore) so I wasn't to intereted in reading and as well it was kind of hard to follow. I was often confused when reading the story. I personally like stories that makes sense with the anime (like how they bring Kagome's mom back to life, that's not possible in the show what so ever so). Well what I did like was the idea you had for the story, Inuyasha and the gang in high school is my favortie. Well good luck with your stories; and I hope you don't take what I said as offensive. All I really want was to give you advice so if you should revise or make a new story, you can have an awesome story. Good luch in future writing! ^_^ With Much Love, Fapper In Training P.S. When you have a story with sex in it, it's a good idea to warn the reader when it's coming. Some people find it offensive and may not want to read it (not me of course ^_-). So just write at the beginning of the chapter or at the part where the sex scene takes place and write either "lemon" for a big sex scene or "lime" for a small one.
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