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| "Please Call" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Reviewed By: ChildofLight 051 Kiraya [MediaMiner Member] On: March 26, 2007 02:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
While you had a great style and everything, your problem is lenghth. If you want my honest opinion, and no, this is not a flame, the reason you don't get reviews for a great idea is that it's only a paragraph, and just a paragraph isn't worth the time to review. If you took this and ran with it to create a full length story, I believe you would be happy with the results. I know I would read it, as it sounds like a great idea. But right now, that's all it is. I posted idea, not a story.
| Title: Short...
Reviewed By: sephlier (brain fart-thought I was logged in...well, i'll be) On: February 02, 2007 17:39 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
For what it was, it was good. I agree with the first reviewer about it being confusing at times. Your story was insightful. Not the most original but definitely creative. I had a problem with this line: None knew what it was like to wake up and just not know who he was, to forget himself, to take on the identity of himself in a last desperate attempt to keep his poor mind only slightly intact. You might want to go back and remove a lot of the "that"s too. In some cases you really didn't need them. I think I understand what you are getting at but it seemed like a round a bout way of saying it. I think it was the "none" that threw me for a loop. Did you mean "no one?" This short almost brought a tear to me, actually. After seeing the special scene in the game (when returning to Nibelheim) and Last Order as well as (whatever that short was called that came with Advent Children US release)-well, it brought back fond memories of Zack. With his limited appearances, one could still determine he was a good guy. Thank you for sharing your work. I've added you to my favorites as well as this story.
| Reviewed By: ff7nuttyfangirl [MediaMiner Member] On: February 02, 2007 11:26 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
bit confusing at times but very good, very deep i likey
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