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| "Soccer Practice" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Title: Naruto
Reviewed By: Hokage Naruto [MediaMiner Member] On: November 04, 2008 11:22 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
ARE YOU GOING TO WRITE MORE CHAPTERS FOR THIS STORY I REALLY ENJOYED IT
| Title: KAWI!!!!!!
Reviewed By: dark karena [MediaMiner Member] On: April 15, 2007 01:18 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
HOLY WOW THIS IS ONE OF THE CUTESTIST FICS I HAVE READ SO FAR IT WAS BEYOND FUNNY also
| Title: O_O
Reviewed By: Azmiam [MediaMiner Member] On: March 15, 2007 21:30 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Naturally I gave you a high rating because you're my fnarking SISTER and I ADORE everything that you write. I really do love this story, though, hon. Really good for your first hentai!
| Reviewed By: Dark_light101 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 07, 2007 19:49 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
There a couple things that came to my attention, for one, you need to use more descriptive words when writing so that you can make the image of a scene apear in a readers mind instead of forcing them to make that image. All of the good desciptive words that you used, you used repeatedly, even full phrazes you repested; for instance, you used "captured his lips" multiple times. The first time you read that it sounds good, but if you read it one or two more times in one fic it sounds a little obscure. Another thing is that you need to work a little on dialog, your wording is good but if you make it sound to over the top it can come off as cheesy. Over all you did a decent job, but you just need to work on a couple of things and you can truly blossom.
| Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2007 16:59 CST
Comment/Review:
Two things. First, mention what Naruto saw in Sasuke's eyes. Second, you did the detail work well, but you skipped over certain sections (talk about teh soccer workout for one thing) as well as other things. On top of that, show, do not say the details of what is going on. First ruel fo serious writing. Otherwise, the story is good. Naruto/Sasuke, hot. Well, as long as they're over the age of consent, anyway
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