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| "Home for Kagome" Reviews/Comments [ 61 ] | | Pages (5): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 › » ] | Reviewed By: Sassa [MediaMiner Member] On: April 22, 2007 07:17 CDT
Comment/Review:
"He was frankly gob-smacked, and was torn between being happy for his friends and being consumed with jealousy that Inuyasha had gotten laid before him." I red this, and I thought I was going to chocke on my own breath struggling to keep my laughter down. However, I sense you might rush things a bit now. Even if Kagome is healed and feels safe with Inuyasha, she's bound to still have some issues about others' view on her. I do not believe it to be likely the talk will go smoothe. The fear that someone might think she really did encourage the rape before due to her willingness now, the fear that perhaps she really DID do something like that, the fear she might have healed too fast to be concidered normal... there are so many thoughts that cannot be controlled, so much fear(Oh, how I know). Even if sex made in love heals, a deep wound takes time to heal fully. Please, don't rush it. Don't make Kagome's confidence be based on the fact that she's Inuyashas mate now, that's unfair to her. With that said, I am happy you have changed the tone and allowed humour to resident. It would be strange if Naraku was killed and everyone was completely downcast about it. Also one question: why on Earth did the Inu-gumi accept being seperated??? I don't think they've been in individual rooms, like, ever! Oh well, it's a fiction, but still. : )
| Reviewed By: MZephyr [MediaMiner Member] On: April 21, 2007 11:21 CDT
Comment/Review:
I think you chose the right point in the story for their mating, after the battle with Naraku. However, as written, things moved much too fast, all the way from kissing to mating in one session. I just don't think Kagome could manage that much that quickly. It would have been better if they had started, before the battle, with holding one another, for romantic intent. Then moved on to kissing another day. Then perhaps after the battle they decided to move on to more intimate caresses and Kagome realized that she felt ready. It's nice to finally have them together, but it feels a little artificial given the story to that point.
| Reviewed By: ponygirl2112 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 21, 2007 04:52 CDT
Comment/Review:
Well I really like this overall, it does have a few problems 1 is the scared tree as in afraid instead of sacred as in holy, another is a very common fanfic problem, rampant comma abuse. Commas are pause marks, they are the places you would pause when talking to take a breath, unless you have something wrong you would very rarely pause to breathe after saying 1 word. Try saying the lines outloud & put the commas where you had to stop to take a breath in the speach sections, that should help the comma problem. I hope this helps.
| Reviewed By: angel-up-above-heaven [MediaMiner Member] On: April 20, 2007 01:47 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!!! your telling me that the story is over!?! you betta not!!!! and the lemon but part really good for first time ^^ please dont let it be the end T-T
| Reviewed By: Sassa [MediaMiner Member] On: April 19, 2007 15:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
Each rapevictim is individuall in healing, and as you said, there were special circumstances for Kagome. I'm happy you allowed her to heal, to be able to be healed by Inuyasha. It's hard for the victim as well, knowing everyone either puts blame on you - or expects you to be completely broken and thinks low of you if you're not (I got treated that way. That's what you get for trying to be strong!). I really like your intrigue, and also the aspect with Kouga not completely understanding. And OH, was the pregnat-alert a scare!!!! I for one loved the lemon. A wise woman once told me: "Tears cried alone scars you, but sex made in love heals you." Heh, now I've used many words to say: I love your ficton!
| Reviewed By: shipporinKIMS11 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 19, 2007 15:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
OOH, another update! WHEEE!!! sadly, i can't stand reading lemons(you get my point!)-_- but the rest of it was good! ^-^ and you should keep up the good work! ; )
| Reviewed By: shipporinKIMS11 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 19, 2007 15:23 CDT
Comment/Review:
OOH, another update! WHEEE!!! sadly, i can't stand reading lemons(you get my point!)-_- but the rest of it was good! ^-^ and you should keep up the good work! ; )
| Reviewed By: tgathena [MediaMiner Member] On: April 19, 2007 12:29 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i think it was well done... the timeline seems reasonable to me...and all...but something like that never happened to me so i can't really say...but in my opinion you have done a wonderful job so far :) keep up the great work :) - Athena
| Reviewed By: angel-up-above-heaven [MediaMiner Member] On: April 18, 2007 02:12 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
*screams* WHAT..... who stoled the shard >_< i always think that Naraku is never bright lol XD but Kikyo is gone woooo hoo !! lol ^.^ i was soooo pissed off when in thr manga that Kikyo was bring back fricking twice >_< but now is dead wooo XD thank you sooo much for writing this on real stuff ^.^ just love this sooo much!!!
| Reviewed By: _luv_naraku_ [MediaMiner Member] On: April 17, 2007 14:11 CDT
Comment/Review:
Update soon please!!
| Title: Hello!
Reviewed By: nymphminxgoddess [MediaMiner Member] On: April 17, 2007 09:05 CDT
Comment/Review:
I just found this story and I really really like it! It's hard to find a story I like. I guess I'm picky or something. I look forward to your next update!
| Title: Miko's puritu
Reviewed By: whimsy On: April 15, 2007 19:46 CDT
Comment/Review:
From the wikipedia on mikos - "Theoretically, miko were required to be virgins, however, exceptions have historically been made when one is imbued with a strong character." The tradition may have had more to do with questions of the dedication and sense of responsibility of a miko to her duty since consensual sex would have been the far more common way for her to lose her virginity and lovers may have been thought too great a distraction.
| Title: a little curious
Reviewed By: vkp23 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 14, 2007 03:33 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
though I don't like the idea of rape, I do however, like your story. So far I've only read the first chapter, and was only wondering a few things about the morning after pill. It wasen't explained to me much why. example 1: If Kagome's mother wanted her to have them "just in case" I would see Kagome refusing cause even if she where still in school, if somthing happened between her and inuyasha, unless she was on birth control, I don't see kagome terminating a pregnancy, even if it was before it was fully established, between her and Inuyasha. #2 If her mother wanted her to have them incase the same thing happened in Inuyasha's time why wasen't that explained? and also, I feel the mention of them would rise questions in Inuyasha that he didn't ask. Like whould she really be that "easy", that it would make him feel as if she would never want a child with "a filthy hanyou". I'm not saying anything bad about it, I'm only curious. other than that I think you have a great story! As I said I don't like the idea of rape all that much but it is a good story, and adding a bit of the real world into fiction make's it a realistic story. Bad things happen to good people all the time and just because Kagome is a special person doesn't mean she is exempt from the real world hitting her between the eye's. And that's not saying anything bad about the miko eather. I love Kagome and I feel for her in this story. Can't wait to read the rest!
| Reviewed By: avoria [MediaMiner Member] On: April 14, 2007 01:38 CDT
Comment/Review:
Your story is really good! And I've read a lot of the Inuyasha fanfics; I don't think there is any way you cold be accused of plagiarism for the story base you have, because so many people have done that scenario. Apparently, you aren't the only person who thinks Inuyasha is VERY thick. My best regards, Avy
| Reviewed By: nekokyttin [MediaMiner Member] On: April 13, 2007 21:33 CDT
Comment/Review:
I also want to say that I agree with LadyJulianna, you've done a great job in creating at least some awareness as far as what rape victims go through. I try to incorporate a little awareness in all my stories, but none have done as good of a job as you have done, when I first read it, I believe I cried for Kagome.
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