| "Forbidden" Reviews/Comments [ 10 ] |
Title: Hot Damn
Reviewed By: Darkness Fallz On: July 18, 2007 00:28 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Whoa. I have never read a Sesshoumaru y Kagome fic like this! It's unbelieveable. I honestly didn't know whether to be fasinated or disgusted at some of then parts you've written in there. I still don't know...but I know that this was an original. It's like even if you're disgusted it's so damn interesting you can't turn away. So here I am telling you please finish it or post another one!
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Reviewed By: anonomous angel On: April 15, 2007 00:55 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ain't that a twist. I can't say I saw it comming. I don't really know what to say to it. you may want to go back over the story and looko for grammival errors because i think there are a few places you may have forgoten a word or something. I really have nothing much to say other then I'm still confuced over the royal thoun room scene that was never there yet brought up many times, and the ending was a little confusing but you can get the main point of it. I'm looking forward to seeing what else you've done and hope I havn't been to much of a pest. Oh I also wanted to make note on the detail you put into inner thoughts and physology, mainly of kagome. Like how words affected her towords the end and the dream was a little odd in itself. Good story all in all. Hope to read an edited verson of it one day. It could be that the whole of the story just dosent make sence to me in general, so there could be nothing wrong with it. I will say this though, It sure ain't no Aladen. CHELL
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Reviewed By: anonomous angel On: April 15, 2007 00:26 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ok I'm at chapter 12 now and I'm almost hoping thats a dream to make sesshomaru realize he really loves her ot something but I also hope it's not because it's a really different change, does this mean the bad guy is going to win? I guess I'm goning to have to keep reading to find out. later CHELL
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Reviewed By: anonomous angel On: April 15, 2007 00:10 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
No silver, intresting twist. I'm also glad for the silver gone because if you think about it they would clash really badly. The lemon was goos for pure lemon sake. The only think is one second the whore seems like a little child the next it seems like Kikyo, and did he kill her or just beat/torture her. When sesshomaru was talking did the little part about him ordering for her verginity NOT to be taken miss her brain or something because she still blaims him for that. I would too if in her position but it seems like she should atleast question what he said comapaired to having her put in the dungeon in the first place. It still seems a little speratic at times but I like the sword put in. Personaly I'm just a fan ok katana's so i'm a little biased. :p CHELL
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Reviewed By: anonomous angel On: April 14, 2007 23:53 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Seven and eight are very descent chapters. As odd as it is to say this I found the masterdation scenes almost funny. I still don't understand how kagome was suddenly accepted as one of the royals unless it had to do with knowing inuyasha when he was younger. I'm a little confused on some parts other then the fact that sesshomaru thinks that a single appology will make up for almost killing kagome. I don't know it's your story I'm just reading it. CHELL
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Reviewed By: anonomous angel On: April 14, 2007 23:32 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really liked this chapter but once again there are a few things missing. The meeting with the rest of the royal family was never convered, yet the clothing she wore was brought up. I liked what happened with shippo, but I'm a little confused as to why kagome is just accepting being told what to do, you'd think whe'd want to escape the first chance she got after what was done to her. As for sango wouldn't she be a bit scared of kagome because up to this point you havn't said that she daing any of her weight back, only that her wounds have closed and healed and that har mental sanity is better though obviously not completeley fixed. The twist as the end seems like the other guy with red eyes is either naraku of the other guy, whos name eludes me. If I'm reviewing to much then I appologize it's just that I don't often find a story that I can comment so much on, again not meant as an insult. CHELL
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Reviewed By: anonomous angel On: April 14, 2007 23:15 CDT
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow thats sick. I don't know any other way to say it. I mean no insult behind that, I'm honestly glad you can write this becaue ehery person had darkness in their heart and I think thats a bit of yours getting out. It was very graphic and atleast you used proper grammer from what i could see. I'm giving a lower mark in creativity because it is vary loosely based off of aladin, and isn't their a gate to the palace that shippowould crawl through or a hole or something how would he jump a wall? thats all I have for now. CHELL
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Reviewed By: anonomous angel On: April 14, 2007 23:03 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Just thought i should let you Know that chapter four is a repeat of chapter three you may want to take a look at that. CHELL
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Reviewed By: anonomous angel On: April 14, 2007 22:59 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I wasn't going to say anything till fourth chapter but the third is a little confusing. We don't know of anyother time kagome insulted sesshomaru unless it was in their childhood. Your also meantion something happening in the thone roon with the royal family but we havn't heard anything else about that. Inuyasha said something about it also, and dosent kagome have blue or sometimes brown eyes? depending is you read the manga or see the anime the eye color is different but I've never heard of it being green. it's got me a little bit lost and hopefully things work out in the next chapters. Also I wonder that the strainger is using to hurt kagome. Well I have to keep reading now. CHELL
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Reviewed By: anonomous angel On: April 14, 2007 22:42 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm only on the second chapter and I must agree with you fluffy-sama is quite egotistical and big of himself. Your little comments were funny and I'm glad you arn't one of those authors who takes up whole peragraphs with their personal thoughts, thats best left for the end. I almost hope this dosent run too much along aladin with her becomming a princess just to marry him, because that would be a little hard to see. If it were accidental that I could see, like a slip of words that would work. I guess I'm going to have to keep reading and see how you handle it. CHEL
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