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| "Totalled" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Reviewed By: animeaddict666 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 17, 2008 16:17 CDT
Comment/Review:
The way you ended chapter four was perfect in every way. End of comment.
| Reviewed By: animeaddict666 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 17, 2008 16:06 CDT
Comment/Review:
*Yah, that wall must have been pretty damn art new-voe. Those bruises look like a hand prints. You need to get yourself a boytoy Harry, we ain*t getting any younger and getting smacked around never was any fun anyway....or did you pay for it?* That quote....was sooooo fucking genius. Also, the ending was disturbing, but my God the last line.... Worship you now.
| Reviewed By: animeaddict666 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 17, 2008 15:55 CDT
Comment/Review:
My god, this plot is good! Great story development. Loved the flashbacks and the intricacies of the Red Table...creepy as all hell. Two things though...The "frag" thing is getting old. It's not BAD, but come up with some other creative curse words, or just a good ol' "hell" and "damn" wouldn't hurt anybody. It's being overused! XD Also, before, you refered to Re-Ed in ALL CAPS, just an inconsistency I thought I should point out. Really enjoyed seeing Tesa finally, and Siren still creeps me out.
| Title: Interesting start!
Reviewed By: animeaddict666 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 17, 2008 15:38 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is undoubtedly high-quality work. I love how sickeningly twisted and tense the first scene was, and Siren's character...*shiver* Really well done. Your voice as an author is well-developed. Looking forward to reading more. One thing though...proofread more or get a beta. There were several grammar, spelling and punctuation mistakes that really broke the reading flow! Thanks!
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