Reviewed By: Sai_Saishi [MediaMiner Member] On: June 05, 2007 23:05 CDT Comment/Review: Not much I see to comment on here. This chapter's nice, and the emotion inside is well drawn. I was a spot bothered by the slash-combined words eeds/wants/desires. Would those lines work better if you only used one of the three words per? Or perhaps use all three words (not slash-combined) the frst time and one per after that? As much as I hate to argue, this story was not "crap" as you suspected, it was rather very nice. I look forward to reading more should you choose to continue it.
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