| "One straw" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] |
Reviewed By: Anonymous Reader On: January 04, 2009 14:31 CST
Comment/Review:
I like this story. I really do. dennisud is right, though in that you need to somehow connect this last chapter to the others. It's very different in style as well as storyline... Do you know where the story is going and how you want it to get there? Is the last chapter just a random slice of Lemon dropped into the rest of the story? Are we just guinea pigs? Or perhaps it is a means of character/plot development? Anyway, keep posting, and I for one will keep reading. Sincerely, Anonymous Reader
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Reviewed By: GrayBear32 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 05, 2007 20:23 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Loved it. i really couldn't find any errors gramatically but some of the parts seemed dry but overall a well written story please write more and add to this one or wrote others
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Title: wow
Reviewed By: firelord [MediaMiner Member] On: August 11, 2007 21:53 CDT
Comment/Review:
wow this story is intense please update a.s.a.l.a. = as soon as life allows
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Reviewed By: AMWOOD co [MediaMiner Member] On: June 21, 2007 12:00 CDT
Comment/Review:
Your other commentor seems to make a point that needs emphasis; this chapter did not go well with the rest. Your story was developing along as a slightly (okay, more than slightly) angst driven ride through the mind of Ranma. Now you throw in him getting it on with Kasumi as a almost random thing. I know crazy stuff happens to him, but this seems a bit much. As for the rest, I thoroughly enjoyed it and hope that you get back to what made me read this story in the first place; I don't like the idea of simply skimming through chapters because what I read before told me that I have to wait for it to get good again. From the offices of AMWOOD co
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Reviewed By: dennisud [MediaMiner Member] On: June 17, 2007 14:39 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hmmmm, the final chapter, seems not to fit the rest . If Ramna came home after Phoenix mountain and after the failed wedding THEN gotten tofu's help in leaving for America. How can kasumi be depressed after Tofu who seems to have left BEFORE Ramna and the rest returned to China? Now as for the lemon, hey its good and if you take just that chapter separate from the rest its good. But the continuity is not clear here. Fix that then lets see how this plays out! dennisud
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