| "The Moonless Dance" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] |
Reviewed By: ExpressMail [MediaMiner Member] On: August 06, 2007 01:07 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I think you brought a great complexity to Inu Yasha. My only real critiques would be that you should bring that complexity to Kagome as well (she seemed kinda 2-D in comparison) and to connect your two plots together more. There was the dance story and the mating story. Bring the mating in earlier, IE have a look at inu yasha's thoughts and his concerns about the blood bond before the dance even takes place, when she's asking him to go with her up in the tree. that kind of cohesiveness will help big time in your writing. i liked the story overall, and i think you have a gift. your writing still lacks a certain refinement, but that comes with time, and i look forward to reading more of your stuff in the future. i enjoyed it immensely and i think you've got a lot of raw talent, just polish it up and put it to good use! Thanks for the story, and blessed be! ExpressMail
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Title: Well done
Reviewed By: SplendentGoddess [MediaMiner Member] On: July 20, 2007 15:54 CDT
Comment/Review:
This was your first lemon? Very well done, indeed. It's always cool doing a Human-Inuyasha scenario, 'cause then you get to make him more emotional without seeming out of character. Considering he was human, it was completely realistic. Nice job!
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Reviewed By: avoria [MediaMiner Member] On: July 05, 2007 04:23 CDT
Comment/Review:
You are a very good writer, but you need to do a final read and grammar check before you post... you did better than a lot of the other authors on this site, tho! It's a really good stroy, decent plot, good writing... WRITE MORE!! Please?
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Reviewed By: BrokenAngel1219 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 04, 2007 00:49 CDT
Comment/Review:
i love it. the ending is so sweet. keep up the good work.
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Title: WOW
Reviewed By: ScifiAmy [MediaMiner Member] On: July 03, 2007 18:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
That was GREAT! Very well written, romantic and beautiful. You are very talented. The lemon did not feel forced and lead up to it perfectly. I would love it if you did a one shot continuation after they when thru the well. I'd love to read what Miroku and the others would say. Keep up the wonderful works.
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Reviewed By: im_inuyashas_dirty_little_secret [MediaMiner Member] On: July 03, 2007 13:37 CDT
Comment/Review:
i loved it are you going to make the next chapter?!?!??! i love it lots!!!!!! good work well done. it was so good that its like they made a book about him :)
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Reviewed By: wudelfin [MediaMiner Member] On: July 03, 2007 11:27 CDT
Comment/Review:
awww sweet!!
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Reviewed By: LostInSiberia_14 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 03, 2007 08:31 CDT
Comment/Review:
Aww, this is beautiful! I know a lot of people have done a dance-type plot before, but this one of the best I've read, personally. Great job!
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