| "Black Velvet" Reviews/Comments [ 17 ] |
| Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] |
Reviewed By: Lil Babe0206 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 04, 2008 22:37 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hey im lil hotie0206 LOL! I made a new one.... Anyways nice update! Keep it up and update soon!
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Reviewed By: bettychan On: June 30, 2008 10:23 CDT
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Comment/Review:
This isn't a bad story. It could be a lot better though. Your spelling and grammar need work. For example: "The ocean Velvet started to swim away" should be: The Ocean Velvet started to sail away". Ships don't swim, they sail. Another example: "she whispered and shocked head" would read much better as: "she whispered and shook her head". Also don't forget the golden rule of writing: When the speaker changes start a new paragraph. I don't know why that is such a hard thing to remember. It makes it much easier for your readers to know who is saying what without having to read the same paragraph over three or four times. Do some proofreading and editing of this and it will turn out to be a very good story.
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: January 02, 2008 15:38 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
nice update... too bad thought that inuyasha & kagome will get together already but seems not yet... wonder what happens next... update as soon as you can... please and thank you... HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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Reviewed By: leeluu On: December 08, 2007 22:58 CST
Comment/Review:
Oh wow, it has been a long time. I am so glad you updated. PLease don't wait another 4 months before you update again.
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Title: lil hottie0206
Reviewed By: Lil Hottie0206 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 08, 2007 15:32 CST
Comment/Review:
ok good cum back. BUT, if u make jake and kag do dat again ill KILL U!!! *INUXKAG fans cum outta no where again* and not only i will kill u but so will us InuxKag fans!!!!so da next chp., no not da next chp., DA REST OF DA FIC BETTA BE ABOUT INUXKAG!!! got dat?!?!?!?!? :) ADRI XD
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: December 07, 2007 10:56 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
interesting story... really like it so far... will inuyasha get kagome back... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
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Title: lil hottie0206
Reviewed By: Lil Hottie0206 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 02, 2007 20:42 CST
Comment/Review:
AND FORGET DA REVIEW I WROTE BEFORE!!!!!!! (except i need help on)
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Title: lil hottie0206
Reviewed By: Lil Hottie0206 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 02, 2007 20:38 CST
Comment/Review:
how do you make jake and kag do dat!!! ILL KILL U!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INU AND KAG 4EVA *a group of inuxkag fans come outta nowhere and start to make a mob behind lil hottie0206* CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*they charge 4 U and attack U* US INUXKAG FANS HATE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEXT TIME MAKE A INUXKAG FIC!!! PLUS, WHOSE *SARCASTIC TONE ON HIS NAME* JAKE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! GO WITH ALL UR MIGHT, ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *XD!!!*
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Title: lil hottie0206
Reviewed By: Lil Hottie0206 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 02, 2007 11:37 CST
Comment/Review:
hey can you help me out i dont what to do im making my fic but i dont get the part dat says chapter file name. ane ways nice fic!! plz tell me how to do it Adri XD
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Reviewed By: decemberangel16 On: August 29, 2007 10:09 CDT
Comment/Review:
please write more.
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Reviewed By: decemberangel16 On: August 25, 2007 22:06 CDT
Comment/Review:
i love the update please update soon.
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Reviewed By: betwixt On: August 22, 2007 23:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
How funny she swam away from him! Does Inuyasha know anything about Paradise after all he is a pirate now.
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