"Moving On To America" Reviews/Comments [ 32 ] |
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Reviewed By: Inulover1253 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 16, 2007 05:36 CDT Comment/Review: OMG KEEEP WRITING
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Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: October 16, 2007 00:47 CDT Comment/Review: oh good, so everyone will eventually remember their sengoku jidai lives. good chapter. ~ a pleasure, ginny
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Reviewed By: LadyCash, not logged in On: October 15, 2007 21:04 CDT Comment/Review: Excellent, Sango remembers! This will help K deal with everything else going on, and to reach her friends. Will there be problems? Angst? Evil? Will things be smooth? Of course not, how fun would that be? Although, you may very well make it smooth, and I'll read it just the same, cause this is a great story!
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Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: October 07, 2007 22:24 CDT Comment/Review: too bad she feels so let down, these are her friends who may not recognize her but they're safe, they're there with her... they're alive!. . . does yasha have his ears or does he have human ones? . . . watch your 'to', 'too', 'two' usage. . . a little read over with a spell check will catch most of the typos. . . good chapter! ~ a pleasure, ginny
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Reviewed By: coolasice102030123 On: October 07, 2007 09:00 CDT Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: I really like the story write more please
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Reviewed By: LadyCash [MediaMiner Member] On: October 07, 2007 04:27 CDT Comment/Review: Another fine chapter. Wondered how IY would handle meeting her. Hmmmm, he's still got a ways to go. You had a few slip ups, mainly pov, or perspective, but nothing too major. Excited to see how you get these two together.
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Reviewed By: inufreak8910 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 26, 2007 06:19 CDT Comment/Review: pleaze continue it!!! ^-^
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Reviewed By: smiley118 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 15, 2007 12:46 CDT Comment/Review: I really like the story. Can't wait to see who Kagome meets next. Keep writing please!
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Reviewed By: Ethereal Siren [MediaMiner Member] On: September 14, 2007 03:38 CDT Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review: I really enjoyed the story, but as it has been pointed out there is the problem with the narration. It seems like most of it is in the first person, so I would make it all got that way. Everything is fine in the Intro (1st chapter). The switches from Third to fist and then to third person again are appropriate and interesting. The problem starts immediately after the first break in the first chapter (2nd chapter). The latest chapter holds most of the errors. I hope you update soon. I can't wait to see how the story goes!
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Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: September 13, 2007 15:40 CDT Comment/Review: this is an intriguing and well written story except for one itty-bitty problem, you need to be consistent with the narration. half the time it's done in the first person(i went to the store) the other half isn't(she went to the store). it can be a bit annoying/confusing. other than that it's really good! ~thank you, ginny
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Reviewed By: Inulover1253 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 13, 2007 13:58 CDT Comment/Review: Update update update update Keep gonig please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Reviewed By: Blackcrescendo [MediaMiner Member] On: September 12, 2007 13:03 CDT Comment/Review: So far so good. Keep it coming!
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Reviewed By: Fanfactor [MediaMiner Member] On: September 12, 2007 08:23 CDT Comment/Review: This is a really good story. Keep this up!!
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Reviewed By: angel-up-above-heaven [MediaMiner Member] On: September 12, 2007 07:43 CDT Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: PLEASE update soon PLEASE!!! IM BEGGING YOU!!
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Reviewed By: LadyCash [MediaMiner Member] On: September 12, 2007 05:00 CDT Comment/Review: Good start. Will be fun seeing how you work everyone into this, and how they got there/what happened.
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