Reviewed By: Eralight Nightfarer On: March 14, 2008 23:51 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a very intriguing fanfic, I really appreciated your apparent efforts in making this as enjoyable as possible. And congratulations, you did =). However, in the area of paragraphing, I would like to raise some suggestions. Since this is a long story, do try to break the body down into clearer paragraphs so as to enhance and make reading more convenient for readers. Thanks =) By the way, I wonder if it is alright for you to turn this into a multi-chaptered story. Basically because I found that there is room for development and effective extension of the story, but of course it's alright if you choose not to. Writers can get tired, I understand =P. This will make a perfect oneshot too, but your cliffhanger at the end hooked me on to lots of pondering and anticipation of what might happen next. I really want to know if Shinichi managed to make it through, and how Ran will react to either situation. Great story in overall. One of the best fanfics I've ever read, quite unique in a way that this is what I call a rare "thought-fic", full of effective expressions of regret, reflection and guilt. I like your style. Good luck in your future writings, keep up the good work! Gambatte desu ne! XD E.N. Signing Off.
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