| "Nothing is as simple as it looks" Reviews/Comments [ 30 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
Reviewed By: Inuyasha_Kagome_Lover On: November 09, 2007 20:15 EST
Comment/Review:
Omg this os good so far
|
Reviewed By: Ethereal Siren [MediaMiner Member] On: November 09, 2007 16:18 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh shit... well, I hope Souta is alright. And I hope that sword gets to Sesshoumaru before the sheath lets it go... if you are doing that in this story. That damned thing is just as bad or worse than the stupid jewel when not in the right hands. I wonder if Inuyasha figured out who Souta is right away, or if it will hit him a little later. ...death to Hojo. Hopefully, Kagome will not come to her senses and get a whole new batch of friends not in a gang because she needs Inuyasha to protect her with that stupid Jewel in her body and the leader of two other gangs having the hots for her. What a complicated world you have made here. I saw a few (not many) grammar an word usage mistakes... the only one I can think of now is you said "...loudly, revved there engine and..." you should have used "their" not "there". "there" refers to location and "their" refers to possession. Ok, I can't remember tho other problem, but I think it was something Miroku said or thought... I am wondering why Sango would bring her friend into such a dangerous situation or even agree to go into it herself.I suppose that she wouldn't have any idea how dangerous it was to let her out there without a protector and I know she had no premonitions about the shooting. But, still you would think she wouldn't be that nieve. Ok, enough of me. Get that next chapter out soon!
|
Reviewed By: Diva-eyez [MediaMiner Member] On: November 09, 2007 14:24 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like this story alot. You did a good job on the beginning storyline. Update soon1 I can't wait to see what happens next.
|
Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: November 09, 2007 12:36 EST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
interesting story... really like it so far... wasn't it souta that got hurt?... what will kagome's reaction be?... wonder what happens next... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
|
Reviewed By: Inulover1253 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 27, 2007 22:16 EDT
Comment/Review:
Please upadate with the next chappy = ) Im so into it
|
Reviewed By: Horaku [MediaMiner Member] On: October 24, 2007 05:46 EDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey I'm back impressed again. by the progress of the chapters and if I may point out a couple of things please don't hate me I'm just trying to give some constructive critism to help you, the biggest thing was you tended to move a little to fast in some of the chapters, and there were afew times I noticed you "fell out of character" espically at the confrontation with Inuyasha and Koga, but I'm kinda picky with that stuff so sorry, the last thing that got to me though was character development it was there yes don't get me wrong but it felt like something was a miss I dunno it must just be due to the fact that it is 4:40 in the morning and I am tired any way sorry if I seemed liked an ass I wasn't tryin to and I've added this story to my favs, oh and reading this fic gave me inspiration to revive one of my old works, anyway I am rambling keep up the good work.
|
Reviewed By: jessie6491 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 23, 2007 18:18 EDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i LOVE this story so far. i can just imagine kagome's reaction of souta came back beaten to a pulp. lol. please PLEASE update soon!
|
Reviewed By: Ethereal Siren [MediaMiner Member] On: October 23, 2007 14:35 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Another nice chapter. I like Inuyasha's hair to be long personally. I'm not quite sure how he could fit it all under a beanie though... maybe he braided it to fit... I never really paid attention to Kohaku's hair, so I have no opinion on it. I am now convinced that Souta has some sort of spiritual powers... but I guess he could just be really observant. So, Rin is a miko. I like that. Well, I could probably come up with some more comments, but I need to be on my way. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
|
Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: October 23, 2007 08:21 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I vote for long.... drool. like in Fushigi Yuugi or Fushigi Yuugi Genbu Kaiden, (just been reading them recently... oh Why are all the cute ones Manga Characters???)) Great Story!
|
Reviewed By: Ethereal Siren [MediaMiner Member] On: October 19, 2007 06:12 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yay! This is really getting interesting! I can't wait to see how long it takes everyone ...or anyone to figure out where the jewel is. Oh, and from the last chapter, that's really interesting that Souta could see the jewel. Is that something that happened so that just anyone could have seen it, or was it just because he's special too? If you plan on answering in a later chapter, I can wait. I have a surplus of patience.
|
Reviewed By: ji-an [MediaMiner Member] On: October 13, 2007 04:41 EDT
Comment/Review:
hmmm, interesting. The plot is moving a bit fast though, but I'm wondering where you will take this. I've not my eye on this fic. Don't disapoint me. ^_~
|
Reviewed By: Ethereal Siren [MediaMiner Member] On: October 12, 2007 15:09 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great job! I like the way you are setting things up here. AU fanfics are usually not my cup of tea, but this one is really nice. You have no need to apologize for attending to your teenage life. Your life events could and will enrich your abilities as an author even if the take you away from writing as much as you would like. You have a duty to your real life, not this story. I look forward to your next update, it seem that things will be quite interesting from here. I can't wait until Kagome and Inuyasha meat again!
|
Reviewed By: Mela989898 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 12, 2007 11:39 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Your story has a great start I cant wait to see where you take it
|
Reviewed By: Inulover1253 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 10, 2007 18:30 EDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OMG Please keep writing i want to know what the hell happens please update soon.
|
Reviewed By: Horaku [MediaMiner Member] On: October 10, 2007 04:57 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I was very impressed with the first chapter, I love how you kept an attentive eye to detail, it wasn't over bearing and everything seemed to fall in to place, from some one who has had several years of writing experience and couple books of my own relesed I was very impressed and hope to read more in the future. keep up the good work
|
| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
