Title: Well done
Reviewed By: barrs789 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 29, 2010 09:50 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've quite enjoyed this story with only a few exceptions. Mihoshi has been made more ditzy than I feel that she is, but maybe it's just the situations that you keep writing her in. Sasami is spot on, as are Yosho, Ryoko, Kiyone and Washu (great job). Tenchi is likewise in character. Now, on to the protagonist, Masato. Masato is too near perfect. An almost expert swordsman (to start off with), an almost expert marksman, an almost expert hand-to-hand fighter, and almost perfect scoring exam taker (9 out of 10, ten if the guy hadn't sneezed), an almost expert controller of his emotions, a pillar of virtue (a virgin), an almost expert artist (almost forgot that one), a poet, etc... He needs some faults (tenchi's indecisiveness, Ryoko's hot-headedness, Aeyeka's pride, Sasami's naivety, Mihoshi's ditziness, Kiyone's lack of patience, etc...) to make him more realistic. Make him suck at some things, or at least be less than average at them. He's too good. Otherwise, I like the stories and the direction the fic was going. You're probably already finished with the piece (in fact, I beleive you are), but you asked for comments/reviews, so here you are. As a writer myself, I understand what getting real comments are like and how useful and wonderful they can be.
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