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"Cause and Consequence" Reviews/Comments [ 1 ]
 Reviewed By: sglily [MediaMiner Member]  On: October 30, 2007 11:55 CDT
Comment/Review:
I adored your first version of this story - as you well know - but this one takes the cake. It is fleshed out with a lot more detail. We can definitely feel Ryou's confusion, his ills, his pains... it is much more real. I liked the contrasts that Ryou pointed out in the room that he awoke in as he began to realize he wasn't in his own home. I guess that the person within the moving sheets and blankets was just as surprised as Ryou to see the other? Too funny! It must have been one hell of a night! Hm, no shirt, covered in puke, looking like shit... I'd say that Ryou wasn't quite feeling OK, eh? And, I loved the part where Ryou - while heaving - wished for someone to be with him, to help him. Hm... who could that someone be??? Heh. Obviously not the moving sheets/blankets person... And, to compound matters, Ryou has to break into his own home... and then promptly hops into bed? Covered in puke? Gah! Ryou, babe... you needed to at least take a shower! Who is the mysterious caller? I want to know! I want more! Get typing! ; ) Very nicely done, my dear...

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