| "Miscalculation" Reviews/Comments [ 52 ] |
| Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 ] |
Reviewed By: dragon_cloud16 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2008 13:04 EST
Comment/Review:
You really went all out with these chapters. But do you really think that Evangeline would stay at the school now that she's free. The only reason I can see is to be with or near Negi. And even then she would have some problems. Hell, the only way I can see her being with him like that is if she makes a pactio with him. But that would explain why she has Chamo drunk in her resort for all we know right now. It seems like this fanfic is going to end soon, so I hope it ends with a bang.
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Reviewed By: dragon_cloud16 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2008 15:30 EST
Comment/Review:
Some good chapters and I hope that the next ones will come out soon. But what's with Asuna and Kotaro? Its like everybody in the White Wings are falling for each other. And why does it seem like Eva is going to bind everybody together to Negi including herself? Or is this another attempt for her freedom? Either makes sense, since she has been stuck by herself with nobody to trust so binding herself and everybody to Negi makes sense.
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Reviewed By: Mike5tone On: February 16, 2008 12:45 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great story, with a twist that takes it beyond the typical Negi/whoever pairings. Love the grasp you have on peoples characters, having them do things beyond what they would normally do while still retaining that essential touch that makes them who they are. Incredibly good work, can't wait to read the next chapter!
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Reviewed By: Disgaea13 On: February 13, 2008 02:41 EST
Comment/Review:
Hope you update soon. Can't wait to see some Negi/Mana and Negi/Sports Girls Action. Particularly Negi/Akira. Though I have to wonder how are you going to get Ayaka and the others to kiss Negi? Flat out telling them to kiss Negi will be funny. Though Mana will know what's going on right away. Also if Natsumi forms a Pactio with Negi won't she become fixated on him instead of Kotaro? Which ironically he already assumes anyways. None the less this is something every Negima fan has been hoping to see. Well those of us that are perverts anyways. Heh.
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Reviewed By: OverMaster On: February 08, 2008 12:27 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Another two great new installements. I honestly can't see Hakase and Satsuki, as much as I love them, becoming interested on joining the club as mildly hinted, but we will see. Also, looks like you are following the order the girls had for getting Pactios in getting the Negi ride, as well. If so, I guess Nodoka's next, perhaps in a threesome with Negi and Yue, right? I really can't wait for Haruna, Chisame and Kazumi's turns. Also, I hope whatever Evangeline has planned is not TOO evil. Eva works better as a redeemable figure than the being of sheer evil she may pretend to be. Also, it would be a disappointment if all the development Negi and the girls have reached in their relationship turns out to be magic-induced rather than, at least partially, natural character-hormonal growth. Two more questions: 1. At this rate of time displacement with the resort sessions, how long before the other girls notice the White Wings are getting kind of older? 2. Isn't anyone of those who have done it so far concerned at all about Negi getting the girls pregnant? All in all, great job. I'm anxiously waiting for the continuation, for the test, and for who will be taking them.
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Reviewed By: dragon_cloud16 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 05, 2008 19:45 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
It was a good chapter but you didn't make any comments on the pactio's when they first changed. Oh well, its nice to know that you might add more to the White Wings. And if Sayo somehow gained the ability to go farther away from the school, she would be a good asset to Negi.
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Reviewed By: seph6 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 20, 2008 20:39 EST
Comment/Review:
What happened between Kotaro and Asuna? I am confuse.
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Reviewed By: ChoboChan On: January 18, 2008 05:56 EST
Comment/Review:
You know I really hate harems. >< But after your LE fics and this one, your the only writer that I don't mind having it be a harem. That and the side doses of yuri is a big help. =3 Tho I wonder where your going with the Ayaka spying thing. Keep up the good work. d^_^b
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Reviewed By: pepe a On: January 17, 2008 22:26 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
well what can a say of the fan fiction that i haven say before. one think comes to my mind is the grates one don't think i write a review to all the fan fictions that i think that are great so por favor go go write your best
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Reviewed By: dragon_cloud16 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 17, 2008 21:27 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
It was a bit on the short side but still a good chapter. But for some reason, I see Mana joining the White Wings soon.
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Reviewed By: OverMaster On: January 14, 2008 13:34 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great, simply great stuff, and it keeps getting better. I can't wait for the next part! Ayaka's informat is obviously Yuuna, however, so I wonder what is the point of trying to keep her as a secret despite such obvious clues.
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Reviewed By: pepe a On: January 01, 2008 00:49 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
one think i can say is the fan fiction is on of the greatest i have read sow please finish it i can,t wait this is the boom
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Reviewed By: NCanimefreak [MediaMiner Member] On: December 31, 2007 19:50 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i like this story (like all of your other stories lol). fianlly someone has written a decent negima fanfic, however i wish you'd update this story like you've been updating your newest love hina story.
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Reviewed By: dragon_cloud16 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 30, 2007 10:48 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a great idea and I'm waiting for the next chapters. The only problem I have with it is that you keep changing Fei Ku's name around. And maybe you could make the chapters longer. Besides that it's got a good premise and captures the characters in a way that fits what I know of them.
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Reviewed By: Touko On: December 15, 2007 19:22 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
A very good start. The girls all seem to fall very easily into the 'I will not be jealous of my beloved's polyamorous harem' mindset, but a) you signposted this with the misapplied Pactios, and b) it's not really a fic by you without polyamorous non-jealous harems. :) Will look forward to more.
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