|
| "Hollow Admissions" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Reviewed By: Darknessdawns [MediaMiner Member] On: October 12, 2008 12:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This was wonderful. You did very well with it. It was very well written and you did a great job with the characters.
| Reviewed By: jdehasqu [MediaMiner Member] On: March 06, 2008 20:21 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this was wonderfull! not much good IchiHime's out there! Write another one please?
| Title: Two thumbs up!
Reviewed By: Sweety8587 On: January 12, 2008 14:02 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
waaaai~! Tis been a while since ive found a good IchiHime smut! And this is quite a bit different from the ones out there! (atleast to me....) I definetly loved it! Especially the end line *giggles* Can i ask yah to write more IchiHime smutletts? pwease?
| Reviewed By: Cromwell620@yahoo.com On: January 09, 2008 03:44 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm not a fan of Ichi/Hime stories, I like Ishida/Hime better, but I honestly liked this one. You did a great job of staying in character, outside of the burning passion that we all know they won't ever really have. Very descriptive and believable. One thing you need to work on, however, is making it clear who exactly is saying what. Don't separate sentences said by the same character with a paragraph line-change, that sort of thing. Also, if you're gonna have a thought dialogue between two guys and Orihime cuts in, don't just change quotation marks like this: 'Just one more kiss won't hurt. You could even grab her ass while you're at it.' 'You are INSANE.' 'So says the loser.' "I...think. No, I know. I'm pretty sure at least." 'I'm not a loser.' Instead, try: 'Just one more kiss won't hurt. You could even grab her ass while you're at it.' 'You are INSANE.' 'So says the loser.' "I...think. No, I know. I'm pretty sure at least," Orihime said. 'I'm not a loser.' Small, simple things. Other that that, very good. Keep up the good work.
|
|
|
