Title: Hmm.. Reviewed By: A-Z Mark II [MediaMiner Member] On: January 20, 2008 09:31 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10 Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review: Well, Greydon, this is a good start. The technical aspects of the fic are held to a high standard, the fit and finish are also nicely done, and overall, it is a refreshing departure from the normal eye-burning freshmen efforts. While I admit that Buffy is not one of the universes that I am familiar with, from what I have seen, you seem to have a good grasp on who they are and what they do in a given situation. About the only thing that could use a bit of polishing is the speech patterns and wording selection. It's not that it is bad - far from it - but it comes off a bit stiff and feels a little stilted. Part of this is probably due to the high accuracy of the grammer and spelling. You may have noticed that the way that people speak is not always grammatically correct, and while there is something to be said for grammar, in a situation like a fic, be aware that just because the words the character are saying is grammatically correct does not make it sound 'real'. This is a stylistic issue, and perhaps the characters really DO speak that way, so just treat this as something to keep in the back of your mind as you write. You do good with the pacing, by and large, you have a grasp of sub-plot and character interaction. Practice should only make it better. Good job!
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