Reviewed By: Sinai [MediaMiner Member] On: March 17, 2008 10:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
Quite good overall, but the style is pretty disjointed, which isn't helped by rather long sentences and no appreciable paragraph structure. Some irritating grammar quirks, but what can you do? Beginning is overly vague and doesn't immediately interest the reader, hinting at the world the story takes place in without immediately being interesting. This can be used to great effect if done right, but is mostly distracting here. Encounter with Merlin is a high point, as it makes him distinct from his normal characterization and makes him a person with motives and desires both high and low. Establishes that he's a prankster, which is the whole point of the story. I think there should have been more exposition in his first sight of Arthur, as that could have been milked for emotional impact, which would provide a good foundation for the sex. ...such as it is. A good joke on the reader I guess. Oh well, what else can you possibly expect from a fic like this?
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