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| "Planet Vegeta: Final Rewrite" Reviews/Comments [ 23 ] | | Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] | Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: April 22, 2008 15:50 CDT
Comment/Review:
Gohan really doesn't like Vegeta does he and is blaming him for everything. I don't think this is the last time he will try to interfere with their marriage. Despite the sex and seeming to understand why Goku can't love him like he does Vegeta, I get the sense that he's still not satisfied. Interesting idea to put the baby in Turles but what does Turles think of it? What if he rejects it or Brolli doesn't like the idea? Sorry you've hit a block and hope the hamster or doujinshis inspire you. I've bought a few on Ebay myself and they are good but I really wish someone would translate them for me as they are all of course in Japanese! I look forward to when you restart writing.
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: April 19, 2008 21:27 CDT
Comment/Review:
I'm with Vegeta, why does Goku have to have sex with the others? Now they have said they both love each other, he shouldn't have to keep that deal. Wow, it's Brolli's child, I didn't realize that. No wonder Vegeta doesn't want to keep it. However Goku seems obligated to, so where do they go from here? Sounds very complicated. Goku wanting to keep every life sacred but Vegeta only wanting Goku's child. Awww Goku tearing himself up and crying into his diary at the Majin incident, it really cut him up *huggles Goku* I'm looking forward to the interludes. Wonder what they will be? *Shudders at the possibility of Goku/Krillen sex*
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: April 14, 2008 17:19 CDT
Comment/Review:
Glad Goku didn't go with Brolli though surprised Brolli didn't put up much of a fight. He seemed remarkably sane and even caring. Still a little puzzled that Vegeta would have him raped, though I'm now getting the battle he is having with himself, and the pain it is causing him. Not to mention Goku who almost had a complete mental breakdown in this chapter. I was worried for his sanity at one point. Neat trick of Gohan's to switch the pregnancy. I didn't see that one coming. Wonder how Vegeta will cope, especially with his dark side surfacing whether he likes it or not.
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: April 12, 2008 22:17 CDT
Comment/Review:
I'm almost speechless at the last two chapters! How could Vegeta do that to Goku? If he had even 1% of goodness in him he wouldn't let anyone be raped by anyone let alone participate in it, and it was his mate! I'm so angry at him. Goku's reactions are puzzling. I understand his hatred of Vegeta but why is he going to Brolli? He must hate him as much. I want Goku to destroy them both. Then maybe wish back Vegeta with conditions.
| Title: My Best...
Reviewed By: flame-washu [MediaMiner Member] On: April 10, 2008 09:41 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is perfect, I just got ch. 11 printed out, and I have it for my camping trip that i'm going with my dad. So whenever it's dark and there's nothing to do, I will pull out PV:FR!! I never read Ch. 11 yet, but I read that it has something to do with Brolli appearing, well that's gotta be interesting. I'm excited for the rest of this story, and LMK, I am really supportive of your story and I would do anything for you if you need me, just send me a message! Or by reviewing "Collapsed" My preposted G/V story, it's dedicated to you! Go ahead and check it out! Love Ya Little Washu!
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: April 04, 2008 18:58 CDT
Comment/Review:
Interesting tour Goku took through Vegeta's memories whilst Kakarot was having his way (though I secretly wished I could have read what happened!). Filled out Vegeta's relationships with his father, Radditz and Nappa. Was worried for Vegeta for a while as Saiyans never seem to get sick but glad Kakarot helped Goku out, maybe it will help Goku accept that side of himself better. Really felt for Piccolo when they were talking about Gohan, not often he cries. Wow a power of 145 billion, but I'm not happy that Vegeta's is only 5 billion, that seems too low, after all he is the only one that tries to keep up with Kakarot and can give him a decent spar. I think he would be more like 100 billion. With all that power between them I was shocked that at first they were paying any heed to what King Vegeta said, but delighted when Goku stood up to him. Glad they are finally at planet Vegeta and are amongst Saiyans but troubled that Vegeta hasn't completed the bond yet.
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: March 28, 2008 20:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
Interesting couple of chapters with a lot happening. Goku was so panicky during the birth when he had to cut his own mate open. I felt for him. Don't know why he is so hung up on marriage though, I think he was right that he had been brainwashed by Chichi on that matter. Loved the part when Goku was researching sex on the net, made me chuckle. Being unable to kill Vegeta during the final battle with Buu (despite the universe being in danger) has to me always been a sign of Goku's true feelings toward Vegeta and I love stories that include it. Vegeta meeting Kakarot during fusion was something I don't think I've read before, interesting, and now Kakarot is temporarily in charge. Hope he doesn't hurt Vegeta too much. Glad Goku got Vegeta to stop acting wimpy, a Saiyan prince should never do that, I want a feisty Vegeta!
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: March 25, 2008 17:25 CDT
Comment/Review:
Whoa, this chapter was a bit of a rollercoaster. So many questions answered but it added some as well. I never thought Frieza would be involved or Gohan was being controlled, though he was acting strange. Was Goten really only obeying him cos he was his brother and stronger? Hm, I'm not sure I trust Goten right now. The unknowing incest and dead baby were a great plot device and well written, though it grossed me out a bit which in a strange way is good. Leaves things open for Goku to get preggers again at some point too. So we are finally getting to Planet Vegeta next. Yes! Been waiting for that, but with these new revelations what will await them?
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: March 15, 2008 21:34 CDT
Comment/Review:
Exciting chapter. Why didn't Goku IT them out of the police station though? Did he forget or was he still in shock? I hope Goku is alright, being riddled with gunshot wounds can't be good despite being Saiyan. Glad Chichi got her comeuppance at last, even though Goku will probably fret over his actions, she deserved it. Sorry to hear you are not well, I hope you feel better soon and can update some more.
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: March 11, 2008 17:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ok, I've re-read the chapter now you have re-written it and I think it works better than before, even though I don't believe in sin so wasn't too bothered about the original. Glad you left a note about when they would get to Planet Vegeta as it's taking much longer than before.
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: February 29, 2008 20:03 CST
Comment/Review:
Another chapter so soon, wonderful. Liked the explanation about the Angels of Hell/Heaven, it makes a strange sense. Goku is almost absolute good and Vegeta was absolute evil until he met Goku. Did Vegeta really let Goku mate him and get him pregnant so that he would be able to enter Heaven? His love seems more than that, but after all the lies he's told Goku, my head is reeling and I'm not sure. Gohan is very dark in this, I'm speechless at what he told Vegeta to do, then again could Vegeta control and manipulate what Goku saw when they fused? Maybe what he saw was false, maybe not. Don't care for Chichi and Mizuki whatever he/she is, I just want them gone and never heard of again. Leave our boys alone! So Goku doesn't love Vegeta? I'm shocked! I was sure he did (sprays love potion on Goku). Hopefully he will come to his senses soon, but the interlude with Goten isn't going going to help. He must be eaten up with guilt. Vegeta will comfort him. Goten needs to find a boyfriend instead of his father (calls Trunks). Sorry you have writer's block, I hope some of my questions might nudge you to write more.
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: February 27, 2008 15:45 CST
Comment/Review:
Vegeta seems a bit wimpish now, crying a lot, maybe the pregnancy hormones are kicking in. Hope he's back to normal soon. Glad Goku made a start on finding the dragonballs as I can't wait for planet Vegeta to be wished back, but how will Vegeta react to his father following Goku's revelation? I didn't really get the God stuff. I mean they know the Kai's and all about hell and otherworld so where does a another God fit in? Similarly why do they want to marry, wouldn't they prefer a Saiyan mating/bonding rather than follow an earth ritual? Maybe you will explain next chapter.
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: February 22, 2008 17:21 CST
Comment/Review:
Oh no poor Goku! What is the surgery going to do, does he has a cancerous growth? Just when everything was going okay with him and Vegeta, and a baby on the way too. Hope they'll be alright. Gohan seems a bit strange, chucking Chichi out but then turning on his father. What's really going on with him? Hope you can update soon.
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: February 17, 2008 17:40 CST
Comment/Review:
Thanks for including one of my favorite DBZ moments, Goku/Vegeta fighting cheek to cheek, always makes me smile. I take it Trunks isn't going to make a play for Goku, good, for a moment it looked like he would. Poor Vegeta pining over Bulma, surely he loves Goku more, after all they were made for each other. Not sure why Goku fainted at the end of this chapter though, but it's getting very interesting.
| Title: Zofo
Reviewed By: Zofo [MediaMiner Member] On: February 13, 2008 15:56 CST
Comment/Review:
I'm finding it hard keeping up with these rewrites, is that 3 now for this one? Still I'll try to stay with it, and this one did fill in a few gaps from the others.
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