| "Goodbye Love" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] |
Reviewed By: bratkitty [MediaMiner Member] On: August 08, 2002 23:58 CDT
Comment/Review:
It was really sad. I thought the emotion got through nicely. Could have been a bit more in depth but otherwise really good. |
Reviewed By: Pottyofchojin On: July 06, 2002 17:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
ack! ignore the comments about the adding the warning. I missed it. ^.^* heh.. such a dunc I am! |
Reviewed By: Allison McKenzie (pottyofchojin from noepets) On: July 06, 2002 17:07 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
I had a few notes while I was reading it. first off. Add a warning that this is a yaoi fic frm Vash's point of view. I was surprised by that and had to reread so i could be in the right frame of mind.
The idea and telling is good but the emotion doesn't really come throught. I could tell that you were trying my make the reader feel Vash's pain and loss but you didn't go into much detail. You need to make the reader feel like they are listening to his 'soul'. I nthe end you started to go there but you need to rewrite it with more detail. Aslo i couldn't figure out who was thinking for a good few lines. Jsut add the warning that its a Vash/Wolfwood yaoi from Vash's pov. Otherwise very good writing ability |
