| "Love, Lies and Racing" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] |
Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: March 14, 2009 22:08 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Amusement park... because most rides have two seat next to each other and then two seats behind, Sango and Miroku wouldn't be ditching (thus not getting in trouble) and they would most likely sit next to each other, thus making Kagome and InuYasha sit together... then you have all the games where you can win prises... (ok very cliché here) but a Very good chapter... was almost CRUEL to your readers how Sango broke it up!!!! Good luck!!!! Paint ball???
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Title: are u?
Reviewed By: kagome_inu_lubber [MediaMiner Member] On: October 26, 2008 15:54 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
So r u gonna continue this one or what?cuz im so confus3d if like ur nt or what.nd plz dnt use words i dnt und3rstand.....lol.jk.but seriously.
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Reviewed By: MisfitBride [MediaMiner Member] On: October 04, 2008 15:21 CDT
Comment/Review:
This story needs a bit of work. Why are you using parts of your story as flashback in the same chapter they were written. I'm sure we as readers have enough brain power to remember something we read 2 minutes earlier, we're not stupid. Spelling is not so great but that is easily fixed. Also i can't put my finger on it but the way you space out your paragraphs and just the layout of the story feels wrong to me. I know that is the worst reason to tell you something is wrong is because i "have a feeling" it is. If you look at another good story you'll see. I see a lot of potential in your writing; those flashbacks though have got to go! Or at least change them into something we didn't already know. Best of wishes on all your stories! ^_^ P.S. "your cake is delicious." "You're a great baker." "your" defines something as belonging to someone, "you're" is essentially "you-are". I noticed you, among a billion other people, mix up those words and i just wanted to give you a little heads up. ^_^
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Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: September 30, 2008 01:07 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
good luck I hope every thing goes well. I loved the mom's turning on the group for InuYasha's outburst!
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Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: August 30, 2008 05:28 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
another great chapter... What the hell would InuYasha want to do with a company anway... he wouldn't really run it anyway he'd rather be racing than being the big boss.
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Reviewed By: 1love1 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 21, 2008 22:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like ur story so far UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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