Reviewed By: Psychosis [MediaMiner Member] On: June 01, 2008 02:45 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I gotta admitt i still feel like im left in the dark. I know both chapters were 2 parts of a prologue but it would be better if you finished the prologue and uploaded it specifically as a whole. It's hard to follow whats going on as it is but i think i get the jist of it. You set yourself up by saying "The hero of our age" for mac. As for prologue part 2, it was relatively confusing at first. I get it now though. I can't really comment much on the plot cause there isnt enough to go on. Character development is lacking right now too but its only prologues. Guess I'll wait till an actuall chapter is released before commenting on this stuff. -Writing Style- It's good few jokes along the way help keep things interesting. Not overwhelming or meager when it comes to descriptive text. Keep it up. -Grammar- 10 blah -Originality Creativity- Started at a cemetary, not the most original way to start a story but it works. Part 2 of the prologue saved you on originality points. It was interesting and makes you curious about what your gonna do next. -Enjoyment- The 2 prologues should be combined into 1 and it should be finished. They are relatively short and at the end of each one your left in the dark. It's not good to leave a reader in the dark at the end of a chapter, they die of anticipation like I am waiting for your first chapter so I can understand some stuff. lol... Don't take that offencively, I just wish I had more info, means i'm interested. I write reviews for orginaly stories I see, or atleast I'm going to start doing it. I think anime gets too much credit here and the few people who give credit to original stories don't make enough rounds. NOW GET TO WORK, I WANT A DECENT LENGTH STARTING CHAPTER! :D !!! PS I'm lazy on grammar/spelling in reviews so ya. Formal ftw.
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