| "Tatsuyoshi" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] |
Reviewed By: loretta537 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 25, 2008 18:09 CDT
Comment/Review:
this is so good, please update soon
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Reviewed By: Miss Nikki [MediaMiner Member] On: August 22, 2008 14:36 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 2 of 10
Comment/Review:
The story could used a little more description. It's bland and might as well be scripted. http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/creative/shortstory/index.html This site may help you with adding some description to your story. Your dialogue seems a bit blah also. But first things firt add the description, then work on the grammar and spelling and you'll be on your way to writing a story that will draw in more readers. There's not really anything more for me to comment on. I don't see to much of a plot but it's still early in the story. But you may want to work that out so the climax won't seem contrived. Well too contrived as far as highschool fics go. Nikki
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Reviewed By: loretta537 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 21, 2008 02:31 CDT
Comment/Review:
please update again soon
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Reviewed By: loretta537 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 14, 2008 08:48 CDT
Comment/Review:
this is great so far, thank you for the double update.
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Reviewed By: bmine4ever [MediaMiner Member] On: June 23, 2008 16:24 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
awesome fic!! kepp it up, ud better finish it or ill sit you~! lol, jk!! ^^
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Reviewed By: loretta537 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 20, 2008 20:33 CDT
Comment/Review:
this is so good! is kagome going to tell inuyasha about Tatsuyoshi or Tatsuyoshi about inuyasha and time travel? is Tatsuyoshi the child of some demons that kagome knows in the feudal era? please post again soon.
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Reviewed By: Precious [MediaMiner Member] On: June 20, 2008 14:40 CDT
Comment/Review:
You should probably listen to InusDemoness, she was a pretty good beta but that's not why I'm reviewing. I just wanted to remind you the this is a story...a fan fiction not a script. There are no descriptions, no sceneary, no adjectives. We can only see what you give us. We aren't in your head. YOU know what's there, how they feel, and what they are wearing...we don't. Practice makes perfect. (Lots of practice....)
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Reviewed By: InusDemoness [MediaMiner Member] On: June 06, 2008 10:46 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 3 of 10
Comment/Review:
The chapter was short so there wasn't much there for me to comment on, plotwise. But grammatically there are some problems. You have a lot of spelling a grammar mistakes that will make it difficult to read your story. I would suggest getting a good beta reader to help you fix them. You can do this by going to forum section of this site and simply asking for a beta. I also think you should try not use little Japanese words like "Hai", and such. Everyone who watches Inuyasha or reads the manga knows it's set in Japan and knows the characters speak Japanese. There's no need to add little words like that when they don't really do anything but stick out. I can't really comment on the German because you might be using that as a plot device, but it's all up to you. Here's a link to thread to request a beta: http://forum.mediaminer.org/index.php?t=msg&goto=1129801&&srch= Beta#msg_1129801
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