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| "When Darkness Falls" Reviews/Comments [ 12 ] | Title: hey
Reviewed By: Angel122189 On: September 05, 2010 07:30 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey, nice to see you write again keep up the work and update soon please, L o v e this fan fic
| Reviewed By: buzzk97 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 03, 2008 18:25 CST
Comment/Review:
Well hello! I was beginning to think that you had given up on this story, but I am so glad that you did not. It is really good and is getting very interesting. I wanted to tell you that I am honored that you used the name that I suggested for Sesshoumaru's mother. I was so excited. (insert blush here) If you would like I would love to help beta your story. I may not be the best, but I am here to help. Oh, I wanted to ask about Inuyasha. If I remember correctly he is a full demon, not a hanyou? The reason that I asked this question is I believe that you described his ears as 'furry' when Runa addressed him during their first meeting. I love the fact that you where able to bring Shippou into the story and that he is Inuyasha's ward. Its different and in my opinion different is a good thing.
| Reviewed By: Animaangel01 On: November 03, 2008 08:49 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this story, and I hope you are able to give us the next chapter very soon!
| Reviewed By: Snowfall [MediaMiner Member] On: November 03, 2008 06:47 CST
Comment/Review:
Runa is a very interesting character. An Orca and a Dolphin. Wow. I like her. Of course, saving Shippou is a plus. Loved the tail move. Reminds me of a dragon. It was a nice surprise to see that she could talk to Sess. Hopefully, she'll be able to tell him some things, and maybe do some translating for the others, while he waits for her to do her magic. Her ability was a great idea and plausible as well. She had to bar Inu from him during his fertile time? LOL That's kinda funny. It's wonderful that Sesshoumaru is finally starting to feel a bit safer. I could see him with his tail wagging and barking while he was playing. It was too cute. Can't believe he broke his leg, but that did give you the chance to point out how defenseless he is at this point. His whining was really sad. So, was his thoughts on the life he'd lived. I really hope they find the bitch that put that thing on him. I guess bath time is going to have to wait. That might have scared him though. Maybe he can have a sponge bath. It's good to see he's eating. To have gained only one pound, he must have been on his way to starvation. Hope his weight gain picks up. William's views on the clothing of human's was very funny, as was Runa tripping him. Runa making herself sick on a chicken was funny as well. They'll have to go to the wharf or market to get her fish. Maybe they'll catch one of the bastards there. Inuyasha is being such a sweetheart to Sesshoumaru. I just want to give him a hug. The comment on them having previously beaten each other bloody was funny. There was a lot in this chapter and it really flowed well. I went back this morning and saw the little skit at the top. If there were errors, they weren't consequential enough for me to see, or to remember anyway. Good job there, especially for not having a beta. Thanks for updating. ^_^ Snow
| Title: Awesome!
Reviewed By: tiffy On: August 10, 2008 12:10 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Awesome story!! its soo good! cant wait for more
| Reviewed By: chibirin8 NSI On: August 01, 2008 01:05 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
im liking it so far, it is different then other storys i have read and i think that is why i like it. well i hope you update soon. ill be waiting.
| Title: buzzk97
Reviewed By: buzzk97 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 30, 2008 10:25 CDT
Comment/Review:
I loved this chapter! I am not sure if it was Inuyasha's blood lust, which always makes me happy for some reason, or Sesshoumaru kicking ass in the fights. I know that it is morbid, but I love fighting sences. I also wanted to take time to compiment you on wanting to be historically acurate. For example when Sesshoumaru is restrained in the shed. I have read about such devices before and I find it adds so much to your story. I have a few friends who are really into Japanese history so I will ask them if they have any maps that I could scan and send you. Keep up the great work!
| Reviewed By: buzzk97 On: July 24, 2008 22:37 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hi! I just wanted to let you know that I really am enjoying your story. I forgot about the one chap present and the next the past though... my bad. It has a nice flow to it. Sesshoumaru's mothers name is never mentioned in the manga series. She is introduced in chapter 466 and we know that they look similar, but alas I don't think that Rumiko Takahashi in her wisdom, thought that it was that important to give her a name. You asked for a suggestion of a name to give her and I believe that Tsukihana would be very fitting or just Tsuki. The longer is two Japanese words placed together: tsuki = moon and hana = flower. Since the family crest is a crescent moon it makes sense to have moon as part of her name. Also, moon flowers are beautiful white flowers that only bloom at night and look similar to morning glories, but they are much bigger. In addition I would like to suggest the name Dornkirk (owner)and the Netherlands (country) as things from Sesshoumaru's past. If you would like any other suggestions or the such let me know. Finally, I know your thoughts on Kagome, but what do you think of Rin? I thought I would ask because your intros crack me up :)!
| Reviewed By: Snowfall [MediaMiner Member] On: July 24, 2008 13:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
Your story is very interesting. The abuse and humiliation of Sesshoumaru is so sad and Inuyasha is giving him exactly what he needs. I'll be glad when he comes out of his shell far enough that the other family members can have more interaction with him without scaring him half to death. It's refreshing to see Inuyasha portrayed in the manner true to his heart, as opposed to the gruff, stand-offish, abused puppy. You've managed to keep me from being turned off by this different characterization of him. Go you! Though, I am hoping to see him get revenge for Sesshoumaru and the family...if you plan on it. I'm glad that Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru will be allowed to mate. Touga is great. His lighted-hearted demeanor is a breath of fresh air amidst the turmoil. William seems to be a very kind and caring soul. Riziki (?) is cute. I can't remember the name of the sorceress, but she sounds interesting. Can we get a detailed description of her? I can't picture her in my head. William's appearance is a bit fuzzy, too. Maybe I should read back over the story. My memory isn't the best. There are some things I'd like to mention because I find it helps when readers tell me what they see in my work. Dogs can scent emotions and illness. Those things do carry scent. I'm surprised that you aren't using it because it hampers communication. It feels as though there is a big hole in the story because of it. That's just me, though. Even my cat can smell when I'm sick with seizures and she'll stick to me like Crazy Glue. LOL It's your choice whether or not to use it, I just wanted to let you know what it does to my mind, as a reader. Also, I'm still a bit confused about the bed. Sometimes it sounds like a futon (pallet), then like a Western bed. Can you give us a description? Sesshoumaru hides under the bed, when before, physical positioning doesn't seem possible for a Western bed in other scenes. Maybe I need to go back and re-read the story. One last thing, everyone's joy at having Sesshoumaru home, Inuyasha's love for him and impatience to have him whole, and Sesshoumaru's fear, is quite obvious. Thoughts of other aspects may be there, but I don't see much description of the emotions attached to them. It's almost as though the family isn't angry at the slavers, as though what happened was a natural thing. It's very confusing. I think that your story would gain more depth if you were to delve deeper into their hearts when you're are writing thoughts. Except for Sesshoumaru, right now, it seems as though your showing us the outer layer, but not the innermost. I know it is time consuming and difficult to do because I fried eighty percent of my brain with the effort in one of the last chapters of Torn. [groans at the painful memory] I know it's asking a lot, but would you mind searching for ways to describe more of what you feel the characters are feeling? I guess one thing that adds to the expression of emotion is the automatic physical responses; tightening or loosening of muscles, chills, goosebumps, drooping of face and body muscles, change of motion, i.e., from strolling to plodding. There are always physical reactions to emotions and the emotions are results of thought. Often we don't make the connection because some thoughts are so deeply ingrained that we don't even recognize their existence. I hope I've helped a bit. This is a very nice story. It just needs a little more description so that I can fully see and feel the characters. We see what you write as a movie in our heads. We hear, see, smell, taste through you and your characters. My seizures have fucked my writing to hell and back, but I can tell that you have the ability to write a movie inside our heads. ^_^ Snow
| Title: Awesome
Reviewed By: alexsei [MediaMiner Member] On: July 15, 2008 00:06 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I absolutely loved this story. It was amazing. I cannot wait until the next chapter (and every chapter after that) so that I may see where this story goes. Your style was truly captivating, it sucked me into the story where I could picture the actions being performed, and even things that I know of the characters, and the settings that you were creating. As a matter of fact, I was so enraptured in the story, that I became annoyed with the distractions around me. I wanted nothing more than to focus on what was before me. It was truly, truly, a work of art, and I hope to read more from you soon. ~AlexseI~
| Title: Awesome!!
Reviewed By: OrlandosLover09 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 03, 2008 20:59 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this story! Its different from other inuyasha stories because you expanded the horizons. People usually have the story take place in japan and that all everyone knows there is nothing else besides japan but in your story you meantioned Persia, Spain, etc.I really enjoyed that! But Anyway awesome chapter! I cant wait for more!! Oh nad I loved that the story may become an mpreg! XD
| Title: SaD!!
Reviewed By: OrlandosLover09 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 02, 2008 21:10 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
awwww... poor sesshy!! I,m curious to know what the liquid is that they made him swallow. hopefully when he is rescued he isny changed too much! Anyway cant wait for more!! XD
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