Reviewed By: bluebanany [MediaMiner Member] On: October 10, 2008 03:40 CDT
Comment/Review:
Well hello there! It's nice to read a Piccolo X OC. This is not the typical build up. I like it! Jandine is a nice person and I like it that she has a little 'history'. It's nice to see the Z gang trough the eyes of an outsider. I'd like to read some more details. I somewhat think it's written a little messy. Maybe you could split your chapters into paragraphs? I think that it would be easier to read. Please keep going! I'm currently writing a Piccolo X OC myself and I would like to have your opinion on it :)
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