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| "An Ugly Fact Of Life" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Title: Chapter 2
Reviewed By: HARDrichard [MediaMiner Member] On: January 01, 2009 20:14 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
Chapter 2 was without introductions or explanations. I do not understand how Jacob can meet Bella and a week later be able to grab and pull her around and speak as if they know each other it just doesnt make sense. You should remember you are writing your own story and some people out there might not even know what a Quillete or who Angela or Mike Newton are. Again, I felt as if this were coming from the original series. Though the ending was a little interesting apart from the fact they acted like they knew each other when they've only seen each other twice. It was alright, I won't lie, just a little dull. But I want to read more it looks like it will get more interesting, I really hope I've helped you in some way and that you'll write more. Good Luck! And let me know when it gets updated!
| Title: Chapter 1
Reviewed By: HARDrichard [MediaMiner Member] On: January 01, 2009 19:56 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 2 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
I am rating each chapter ok? Here comes the good, the bad later. I really enjoyed it, I put it on my favorites. I hope its more than just two chapters later on! The way you wrote was great and convincing. And parts of it were creative. It could've been a real book. Which brings me to the bad. It was creative at some points like when you said she almost felt the boy (edward I presume) in her room with her. But other than that and some parts I knew were different, it also felt like I was still reading Stephanie Meyers' Twilight. I can imagine that you probably read the book and typed it on your computer then skimmed through it to make it a little different. Not that I would know, it just feels like that. I havent read it in a year now so I wouldnt be able to tell if you did. Good work though, try to get more creative ok?
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