Title: Sisters Ruled!
Reviewed By: Jinx+Kidflash 4 evah On: September 27, 2009 20:26 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I loved how you showed just how deep a relationship Starfire has with Robin. They never really went into detail about it and I think they really would talk late into the night. Also I really like Sf, but I always thought it was a bit too goody-two-shoes how she would act sometimes. Your version showed us how she really felt. Also I adored the fair! It was very elaborate and realistic and easy to picture as I read. I also like how we could tell how Sf is used to being treated by her sister by how she was so submissive. It seemed that while she really loves her sister, she kept stealing all her friends, so that was why Sf was so hurt(aka,she knew what was happening). Also it was very clever how you showed how Blackfire tired each titan out so that they could either not protect Sf, or they could not catch Bf. I loved how it really got into the characters personalities more and how it really described Sf's pain about how her friends were reacting to Bf. Even how they were responding differently to her. This was a truly brilliant piece that combined a great story with possibilities similar to ones that I have already imagined so that the ideas are not alien. It was very original, and I liked the others as well, but this one was my favorite. However, I did notice a few grammatical errors. And some words were not always spelled correctly. Maybe you should consider finding a good editor. And I say this, not trying to anger you, but because I know that my teachers say I am a good writer, but I know I frankly suck at editing my work, and others. I do not even really know what to look for. Throughout the other pieces, I loved how you mixed up the order. I always thought that starting with the final exam was a bit confusing. And you presented the episode with Slade and cinderblock, so that it only made sense that Slade would try to attack them and leave them wondering who was the master mind before telling them. Also, I liked how you introduced some of the later members of the hive five because I never understood how the three of them could beat the five titans. And I never really appreciated Billy Numerous so I didn't mind that you left him out of the story. I also thought that it was a tad bit more realistic how you made the hive tease the titans before kicking them out. It just seemed more believable. I also thought that you gave all of the characters a bit more depth to them like how Raven noticed more things and how it talked about Robin coping. It seemed to give them all a bit more depth. not to mention, that they are teenagers, and when teenagers get pissed off they curse(You even still managed to make Gizmo curse the most!). And despite all of these improvements, you still managed to stick to the story. I personally can not wait to see how you will describe new places, plots, characters (heroes and villains) and still follow the guidelines the show set up. I especially want to see how you will show the relationships, because of the perfect way you set them up. I really look forward to reading the ones where Sf and Robin are the main characters. And Raven and BB already have a great place to work with. And BB and Terra should be interesting to read about. And then there is my favorite couple (besides robin and Sf) Jinx and Kidflash. I read something on the internet about how after the brotherhood of evil she joined a group with the word chaos in it. Maybe you could work with that. I mean I bet Kf thought that he had changed Jinx, but just imagine how he would try to cope with that if she went from a bad group, to a worse group. And in the last episode with Terra, Slade was back and he talked to BB, so imagine what he might do to him and Terra. Or when he finds out Robin+Sf are together. And robin has the right to know that his arch nemesis is back. I mean, in the words of Cyborg, 'when it comes to Slade you have issues.' And then we have no clue who RedX is. PLEASE don't end this with the episodes! You can do better than that!!!!
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