Reviewed By: pweakley [MediaMiner Member] On: December 26, 2009 18:58 CST
Comment/Review:
pretty good story. good set up but there seems an awful lot of threads going on here. i hope that you will be tying them all up in later updates. there are quite a few misspellings and grammar errors. you need to reread when you're done or have somebody beta read for you. the story could do with more descriptions-- ie you describe britt as being dashing-- how is he dashing? show it instead of just saying it. also you have multiple points of view going on, better to focus in on one character's point of view. keep up on the good work though. there's a lot of promise in this story. pat
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