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| "Career Track" Reviews/Comments [ 7 ] | Reviewed By: darthme1011 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 01, 2011 12:22 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
not bad i like your lemony stuff though. hoping to see new stuff soon | Reviewed By: Baughn On: July 07, 2010 00:07 EDT
Comment/Review:
It may be a bit late now, but I thought I should mention this - there is a probable treatment for MELAS, one that is likely to cure it. Though I don't think anyone has considered using it for that. Since this is set ten minutes into the future, though.. Right, then. MELAS is a mitochondrial disease, caused by mutations in mitochondrial DNA. Now, most of the DNA that codes for mitochondria is not, in fact, mitochondrial DNA; most of their genes have, over the eons, migrated into the cell core's DNA, which is far better protected against errors. If we gave it another few hundred million years the process would probably complete itself, but you know humans - we're impatient. So, as it turns out, we've been developing a method to splice the few remaining genes into the core DNA. That would include the genes that cause MELAS, and since the retroviruses used splice in a fresh copy instead of the damaged one Hazuzi has, it should cure her disease rather quickly as the mitochondria are replaced - within a few weeks, in fact; mitochondria have short lifetimes. In tests on rats, this treatment has cured a wide variety of mitochondrial diseases, while incidentally also increasing vigor and reducing the effect of aging overall - and, as if that wasn't enough, adding 20% to their lifespan. It does seem like a worthwhile experiment. So I'm thinking you might want to add a mention of that to a future chapter, just so the poor girl can have a happy ending. Knowing the way she's likely to suffer if it isn't fixed.. I'm not sure I'd be able to read that.
| Title: Great story
Reviewed By: Reviewer of the West On: April 21, 2010 18:54 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I was quite surprised to see a Rocket Girls fic when I was browsing around. It was a nice series but not one which is widely fic'd about. Looking at the number of chapters I wasn't prepared for this epic, but I am very glad I saw it. I am just disappointed that it was not taken further than you did. You introduced a lot of plot development but never seemed to really close any major plot arcs. The indirection of some of what your comments was a little confusing and I didn't always understand what you were talking about, though I guess that is a pretty Japanese thing. It also seemed strange that no-one was ever taken off of flight status (or at least certain flight configurations) because they grew too much. It seems a danger when you recruit high school kids. Anyway, please keep writing!
| Title: Reader
Reviewed By: Axelrad On: November 26, 2009 16:24 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This was a lot of fun to read. Exactly the sort of fic i have come to associate with you. an exceptional bit of fic. i spent the better part of a couple of days enjoying the fic too the ending was decent. i agree that real life just sorta keeps going, and as such, the fic doesn't need an end as such. reading through, i basically only had one issue. as the fic proceeded through the 5 chapters, you would spend less and less time on events. i recall that from the anime's like planetES, but it as i neared the end, i was wanting you to spend a bit ore time on the occasional event. never did find out the details about Australian. and at jindai high, i actually kinda think that the time they were there might line up rather well with kaname and sagara still being there. otherwise, if it's after, then china is split in half as per the events of the second season of full metal panic. i was also wondering why there was never an interview with something like 60minutes with the girls during the period of time of the fic. though that bit about the father turning to his wife after considering yukari and akane vs his own daughter and wondering where they went wrong was priceless. all in all, a great piece of fic. wish you had kept going, but oh well. oh, and in the closing notes, what about your gunslinger girl/noir cross? don't recall that being a lemon. admittedly, its been a while since i read it, but I'm pretty sure i remember it being reasonably clean:) anyway, i hope you enjoy your holiday season, and i hope to see more fic from you at some point in the future.
| Reviewed By: dyslexicfaser On: November 24, 2009 04:42 EST
Comment/Review:
Good stuff. That thing with Ibari was pretty weird at the end, though. They went from almost crushing his windpipe to getting some action fairly quick.
| Reviewed By: Guile00 On: November 22, 2009 21:13 EST
Comment/Review:
Excellent fic, here. I like Career Track better than your Rune Soldier Louie one, and I liked that one quite a bit. I'd never even heard of Rocket Girls before this, but if it's anything like the fic, it'll shortly be a worthy addition to my library. I am curious if Chinami, Natsuko and the others are original characters or from some other anime? Some of those schools they went to certainly seemed like nods to anime I'm not familiar with.
| Reviewed By: rootathell [MediaMiner Member] On: October 23, 2009 10:20 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Awesome Story, I had Rockets Girls for quite some time, but never got the chance to watch the series, but getting the chapter alert finally convinced me to watch it, then read your story. btw.: you should stop using online translators ^^ "Vielen Dank, verpasst!" Miss (unmarried female) translates as Fräulein, while verpasst translates back as miss (to miss a target,...) rootathell
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