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| "The Key to Darkness" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Reviewed By: paniwi (nli) On: February 27, 2010 13:30 CST
Comment/Review:
I know, took me long enough to read and review this, but here you go hon. It's an interesting new chapter. The new character you introduced is intriguing, as well as the way you prepare the reason for the next step without giving away what is really coming next. A few points for improvement though. You missed a word somewhere in the beginning. "more than happy to get inside and to have some hay." Also the conversation with Lucy seemed a little void of emotion or thought on occasion. Specifically there appeared to be a bit of a non-reaction to Lucy's vision and Jaelen's part in it. Otherwise I loved it, and will certainly follow your new story
| Reviewed By: paniwi (NLI) On: February 27, 2010 12:50 CST
Comment/Review:
A good start to the story hon. A minor present/past tense mix up (I think, at least)and a few descriptions that could be perfected just a little, but otherwise great. A good way to set the mood. We know just that little bit about our protagonist, know the world he's on is not our own and the end is both a cliffhanger and has a touch of humour in it. Well done. ^_^
| Reviewed By: VegoSacomoto [MediaMiner Member] On: January 20, 2010 12:18 CST
Comment/Review:
This is intresting to say the lest. I try to read org. stores because most of the time they are good. This is one of those times. I would love to see how this gose. I am a litte confuse on what type of world is this: how it routats from night to day, though seasons, also how meny seasonds there are. I have some idea on the image of the type of civalution this is. I can not wait to see what you have plan for this story.
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