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| "The Impossible Mission" Reviews/Comments [ 7 ] | Title: Reply to inuluv45
Reviewed By: kag2inu [MediaMiner Member] On: April 18, 2010 18:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thank you for your helpful comments. For your first comment. I know I spelled stalker wrong, later on in the story it's corrected. I should mention that I started this story long ago. I just posted it to this site recently. Once you continue reading, you notice improvements and much more detailed explanations. Okay now for your questions. 1.Inuyasha and Miroku have more than one house,(I just spoiled that). Once you continue reading you start to learn that Miroku and Inuyasha don't always live in the same house. That being why Miroku hasn't noticed Sango was his neighbor. You don't really catch everything since you're always moving around. Komaru Inu's dog is of course the only thing he moves around with. 2.I cannot reveal Inuyasha and Miroku's ages as of yet, they are however a little older than them I'll give you that. They're in Kagome's high school in order to watch over her. They've been able to lie about their profiles. Their boss had already set them up don't forget. 3. The very next chapter you learn that Inuyasha does in fact wear caps in class. (some of these questions should wait until you have read more of the story) 4. As for Kouga, I will not say, not going to give you another spoiler just keep reading. 5. To be honest, when I started writing this story I was sort of a novice. I have to say that I haven't thought of certain things than now. As you said this, I went back and read it. And I'm like woah! That doesn't make sense. If he decided to just leave, it would screw everyone else up. 6. I hadn't even noticed I put headmaster, probably too much Harry Potter on my mind back then. They work for a spy agency not a school spy agency. Next set of questions 7. As for their school schedules it runs like, 3 classes(recess in between of course, but I skip it), then one more class after lunch. For the days following after, I skip some classes and days. I'm not gonna write, what happens in every class they're in. 8. Yes I should have noted their attire at the beginning. As I said. Poor description I had back then. 9. The house Miroku is staying in now, was his very first house living with his uncle Mushin. So yes he still lives there. Naturally he does live alone just not in the story or on this mission(oops spoiled something else). 10. I'm well aware the correct phrasing, but I guess should have kept it the way it's said. 11. Oh lol. I guess you missed the fact that they pulled their famous anime 'fast action clean-up.' It's a fanfiction. Fiction meaning, does not always need to be realistic. In anime or manga the characters are able to move around much quicker than the average person. I love fiction stories for that reason. Would you say Harry cleaning his room with a wand in a matter of seconds more realistic? It's great that you take to this story seriously. I appreciate some of the pointers. Unfortunately I don't know how to answer your questions except posting as a review. I hope that you see it, and happy reading ^^
| Reviewed By: inuluv45 On: April 18, 2010 17:38 CDT
Comment/Review:
Alright this will be the last one for today, hehe sorry for all the misspellings in the other comments this font for the comment box confuses meh. Firt, Okay there school schedules, how does it work?? On the first day they went to (i think) 3 classes. Then in the beggining of chapter six, it's supposed to be the second day and their teacher doesn't know who they are. So is it like 3 classes one day and the other 3 the next (explain that in the story). Second,Okay so in chapter six the teacher says he's wearing a blue cap. So does that answer my question before, I think you should go back to when they first arrived at the school and explain what they were wearing (uniforms). Third, Oh lord you added Mushin?! Hehe that's pretty funny but yet again I presumed that Miroku lived alone (especailly since I imagined him much older). Fourth, In chapter 6 when Miss Ikeda expalains how to wash the board: "Miss Ikeda explained. "Understand?" "Crystal!" Miroku and Inu-yasha replied." That's exactly what you wrote but how the Prase goes: ""Is that clear?" she asked. "Crystal!" they replied." You know because then it sounds like Crystal Clear, it's not Crysal Undersand. lol. Fifth, Okay at the end of chapter six, when they stopped there water fight cause the heard foot steps. I have no idea how they were able to clean up the mess from the few seconds it must of took Miss Ikeda to walk into the class room. You should have made her say somthing like 'okay I'll be back at 3:35 sharp!' and then they stop their water fight when they realize that they only have like 15 minutes to clean up the mess before Miss Ikeda returns. Alright once again I hope you don't take ANY offense to the suggestion that I made. I really like your story I just thought that I could help you make it better and less confusing. Sooo I hope what I wrote was helpful, because I think with the suggestions I made the story could be even better!! Then again your not really obliged to do this, but I'd be very grateful and I'm sure others will aswell!
| Reviewed By: inuluv45 On: April 18, 2010 17:09 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hehe me again! So I decided I'm gonna read your story and try and fix some errors for you as I read along (at the moment on chapter 5). So I hope you take no offense! Okay first off how old are Miroku and Inuyasha, when I first astartedreading I go the impresston that they were in there twenties but when I read that they were going into Kagome's hish school I became confused. Second question, what grade are Kagome and Sango in?? Third question, since Inuyasha is still a Hanyou (half-demon) in your fic, does he wear a hat (or other stuff to cover his ears) or does he wear a concealment spell. I would explain this in the begging All I know is that he still has his silver hair so what about the puppy ears?? Fourth question, Is Koga still a demon?? I'm not sure if that is reveled later on in the story so feel free to ignore this question. Fifth qustion, in chapter 5 of your story when Kikyo and Kagome have there scene in the cafeteri, then Inuyahsa discovers Kikyo is at the school and so he just runs?? No offense but that was kind of lame, you could've at least had him say an excuse (didn't even have to be a good one). Last question (for now), about the 'headmaster' stuff, a head master (accoriding to my dictionary) is a head teacher or school prinipal who is the most senior teacher and leader of a school. So is Inuyasha and Miroku in a spy agency or a spy school?? If they're are in a spy school then keep it (and explain so) but if they are in a spy agency your should change 'headmaster' to 'boss'...or somewhere along those lines...also be sure to mention that.
| Reviewed By: inuluv45 On: April 18, 2010 16:45 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hey I really like your story so far! It's really great!! The only thing that bothers me is that you spelled 'stalkers' wrong in chapter three, you were writing 'stockers' but the correct way is 'stalkers.' Oh and I'm a little confused about one thing. In the beggining of the chapter when Inuyasha and Miroku were assigned Kagome's case, there boss said that they set up living arrangements near Kagome, but in chapter three it seem that Inuyasha always lived in that house and Miroku later says that he's always lived near Sango and never realized it...so what is it?? Besides that great work!!
| Reviewed By: bettychan On: February 04, 2010 15:34 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
This is getting really good. Personally, I think Kagome's stalker might be Hojo. Kouga is way to obvious of a suspect
| Reviewed By: Lunabell [MediaMiner Member] On: February 03, 2010 00:54 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like this! Very interesting! ^_^
| Reviewed By: arizonasiren1 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 24, 2010 00:02 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Good start. I can't wait to see what is going to happen next. Looking forward to next update.
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