| "Heero Yuy and the Eye of Horus" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] |
Reviewed By: Kal On: April 17, 2004 17:12 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This was an extremely enjoyable fiction, and you obviously researched well for the subject. One thing spoilt it for me, and that was the way you portrayed Duo. In most fics where Heero leaves Duo only to return, Duo is portrayed as a spineless wimp who runs back like a good little puppy without need of an explanation. He's always "still in love", as is Heero, odd how Heero seems to retain his dignity and Duo does not. Sadly it's the same here. Five years? No return of "I love you"? No explanation? I don't think so. If Duo was portrayed as more to character he'd have told Heero to shove it when he said "I'm back now". It ruins a good fic when writers can't be bothered to develop character. I love Heero and Duo as a couple. It would have been nice to see their love returning gradually and some time spent on their mutual feelings. Maybe a chapter or two on them talking and figuring it out. It would have made this fic special, would have made it stand out from the rest.
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Reviewed By: Destinys lot On: February 06, 2004 22:57 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I had lots of fun reading this fic, Just the right amount of action, romance and details. Ja ne
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Reviewed By: duo no baka On: July 20, 2003 17:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Baka Yarou: we loved this fic!!!
Duo No Baka: yes we did very much
the first time we read it we found it a raygun works but when we found you here we just had to comment!
~Baka Yarou & Duo No Baka~ |
Reviewed By: darkmus [MediaMiner Member] On: November 07, 2002 17:16 CST
Comment/Review:
Wai! This is a great fic! I love the 1x2 romance (I'm a big romancey-angst fan)
The use of other languages was kinda annoying (b/c I had to scroll all the way to the bottom), but I think it gave a nice touch.
Overall, I think it was wonderful. |
Reviewed By: plutosenshi2000 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 25, 2002 13:00 CDT
Comment/Review:
I really enjoyed reading your story. I think the idea of making Heero into an Indiana Jones type guy was great, and you managed to keep the same atmosphere around the characters and events. Your dialogs are quite clever and entertaining. And I like how you show the progression of the romantic plot as well as the action.
Your description of the surroundings is also quite good, although a little wordy. Sometimes it seems that you are trying to put too much information into one sentence. You might try splitting it into several smaller/shorter sentences.
There is one thing though I would like to point out to you about your first scene in the fanfiction. The helicopter in your story just seemed out of place so I did some research. As you mentioned later in your notes, this whole thing happens in 1939 (If I’m mistaken, than please disregard the rest of this note). At that point in time helicopters weren’t as widely spread as they are nowadays. In fact they were in the first stages of development. According to my research the first two-person helicopter was developed in the early 1940 in Germany. Up until then, the helicopter invented by Sikorsky was only able to carry one person and had an open cockpit. Also it wasn’t suitable for carrying any other loads. That’s why I don’t think Heero and Trowa would be able to use this type of transportation.
In general I think your story is great. And I hope you’ll keep writing. |
Reviewed By: saaria [MediaMiner Member] On: September 21, 2002 10:48 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like it please continue. :) |
Reviewed By: Dazzler On: August 07, 2002 22:31 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ah, I love the way you write Duo, he's not written as some hyper idiot, but a capable, bright young man. Chapters 3+4 were good and the blossoming romance between Duo and Heero is so adorable. The plot is building nicely and I can't wait until you have all the characters come together. |
Reviewed By: Daz On: August 03, 2002 00:50 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Heero as a Indiana Jones type character? seems very interesting. It's different, but fun to see Heero written this way and not as the perfect soldier. Hope this fic has plenty of action (the 1x2 action lol) and suspense in later chapters. |
