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| "Sailor Jupiter - Pilots in Nerima" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Title: Sailor Jupiter - Pilots in Nerima
Reviewed By: mrllong On: November 15, 2013 18:58 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've read Ranma with crossovers with Sailor Moon / GTA and Oh My Goddess, I've never read Neon Genesis Evangelion. All the others usually start to make sense even if they start out a little confusing. This story needs a lot of setup for a general audience. Grammar needs help - some sentences don't have a subject which I've run into before but I can usually figure out what was meant. This story is disjointed and unreadable. My suggestion is find an editor and someone who may not be all that familiar with any of the characters or storylines from any of the anime/manga that you use. A reader needs to be pulled into a story and they don't need to be familiar with any of the basic premises of any series if the story has sufficient groundwork laid as you lead your reader in. You didn't lead you just started in the middle of the story. I just took a quick look at Sic Semper Morituri hoping if was a prequel of sorts - no such luck, it appears to be a sequel of sorts to Sailor Jupiter - Pilots in Nermia. I'm sure to fans of all the different universes you've mashed up understand everything from the get go. What I have learned so far is that Ranma has no memory of his previous life and that Nabiki is his with him now for some reason. To bad you didn't bother to explain how all this came to be right up front. Since you seem to have at least four people in love with the your two Ranma crossovers I'd guess that they are very familiar with the characters from all the different universes. Well, I'm here to tell you what I've read so far COULD be great but with no explanation as to why Ranma and Nabiki are where they are among other things these stories SUCK. Don't think that because I am being harsh you should give up writing, far from it take these stories and make them better, better yet make them awesome. Ask yourself while you write, does this make sense? | Reviewed By: Old fool On: August 05, 2012 11:45 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm a long time fan of these stories, and I'm very happy to see you back at.Dumb luck brought me back here to look over your work again, and to my suprise here's a new chapter. Thank you again, and hope to see some more. | Reviewed By: MC the Swede On: July 06, 2012 08:15 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love how you twist the personalities of all the different characters in a believable fashion to create great story. | Reviewed By: XStylus [MediaMiner Member] On: July 06, 2012 04:18 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
The cleverness and detail of your writing is such that you MUST be a professional writer. If you are, and if you've written any original work, I will seek out your books and buy five of every volume. You are a fantastic writer, sir. | Reviewed By: reality deviant On: June 17, 2012 16:16 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Comment/Review:
i didnt give u 10-max point, because perfection is nonexistant, and you should always strive for more. also, i realy love it ,but you skimped too much of the harry potter part, and id like to read the unmentioned parts, as well as continued exploration of that verse, in saparate fic if not this one. also, i challange you to cross this with exalted later on, using all pilots ... and if you can, wh 40k with the pilots thrown there by scheming chaos god ... will rock the imperium... i think those fandoms would add unique taste , and hope your next update will be sooner. you writing is apreciated and loved. |
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