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| "Playing With Fire" Reviews/Comments [ 22 ] | | Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] | Reviewed By: DarkDemon123 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 16, 2011 13:37 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Maybe you, Xeshitha, should better stop sending mean critizes to other peoples work. It will make them stop writing chapters for their story and it will discourege them to keep posting. Maybe you should send tips and compliments to them instead of critizising them. | Title: Xeshitha
Reviewed By: Xeshitha [MediaMiner Member] On: February 14, 2011 20:48 EST
Comment/Review:
Not like I want to resort to this, but I will. Not everyone is as light-reading as all of you are. I'm being bias or whatever, maybe, but there's a crapload of critics out there just like me. They will think nothing of this. People will laugh at this. I am not just being rude, this is just how REAL viewers will actually see it. That's the hard truth, like it or not. ~Lisalisa. The work I took down was fanfiction, and back when I was TWELVE. It was utter crap, definitely compared to how I write today. You say you hate ignorant people like me, but HONESTLY. You're arguing with me. If you're so high, as YOU are acting, stop arguing with me. Brush me off. Because it is more than obvious that I am bugging you. That is why you are responding. Lessie, you are not published. Don't lie like that. That is when one can get the LOWEST. You can't take criticism as well as you believe. This is my belief, just mine, but, it's quite clear, at least to me, that you can't. If you were published, you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't have the time. AND. When someone is published, obviously, they have some kind of talent noticeable to everyone in writing. And it will show in all of their stories regardless of the fact if they don't care about it much or not. Because that is the WAY they write. If you're published, you'd have a fairly good talent in writing. And you would be unable to stand writing like this. You want some shred of proof or anything? Go to a site like Urbis, or Youngwriterssociety. You will see how much people will say things like I had. And no, they aren't just rude. They know when to spot something needing change in a story. They know WRITING. They know what the PUBLIC wants. Not just a few people on this site that flatter you without any bit of criticism whatsoever. In fact, maybe you take criticism so harshly, that you moved here KNOWING that no one gives criticism here, knowing that all they will do is say, the old, expected, over-used, "OMG THIS IS SO GOOD WRITE MORE I CAN'T WAIT". | Title: i LOVE this story! unlike other ppl...
Reviewed By: Adarklove On: February 14, 2011 16:22 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
First, what is your problem,Xeshitha? Can't you just let other ppl ENJOY someones work? Maybe you should get off this site and go to another that has other ppl like YOU, because on this site, they only allow ppl that are not crazy, cruel, and a "FUCKING FREAK" like you.>>>>>>>> anyway.. PLZZZ WRITE MORE!!! I LOVE THIS STORY!!>>>>> | Title: response to Xeshitha
Reviewed By: lisalisa On: February 11, 2011 05:34 EST
Comment/Review:
You talk about proof of your work, yet you said you took it down... i think that's crap. you have no time to upload chapters for others to see but have time to insult another works. Like i said before no one needs you, so do everyone that you are harassing a favor and GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE.... OR FALL OFF. This little game of talking back and forth with you is stupid and i hate talking to IGNORANT ppl. Insulting the author is one thing, insulting the readers is another. You have no talent to criticize and need to find a better HOBBY (if this is a HOBBY). Go get real work and find somewhere that pays you to do something with your life. Do not expect another comment from me b.c. i have no more time to waste on the likes of you. | Title: in reply to Xeshitha
Reviewed By: lessie00 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 10, 2011 20:02 EST
Comment/Review:
Like i said before, i understand your opinion, but I in NO WAY "Know that you're right." When writing these stories it's all free-style writing, i don't focus on things like grammer and structure because i do it for FUN without thinking about interfering factors in writing. So when i say i don't care, i truely don't because you have no idea what my real writing skills are. I'm a professional writing major with published work already out there, so please don't presume to know anything about me. You claim to be professional with your criticism but you aren't. Read the story or don't, just know that i won't be replying to anymore of your comments. | Title: to lessie00
Reviewed By: Xeshitha [MediaMiner Member] On: February 10, 2011 19:24 EST
Comment/Review:
No, I'm not full of myself. You can believe that if you want - sharing what I know would of course come off as that. No, you don't take criticism well at all, and no, you are not writing only because it's fun for you. You care about peoples' opinion, and I know it, because you wouldn't be firing off like that if you didn't. You have to make it so clear in that response of yours that you don't care - but if you really don't care, would you need to prove it so badly? Psychology. ---With writing, you are free to express your feelings and everything, of course. But if you are not given criticism on any of your works, how do you ever expect to improve? Maybe you will someday decide to publish, once you're proud enough of your work. But the first step to that is taking in criticism. It's for you to decide if it's right or not. I understand. I won't force you to take my criticism, I can't and I wouldn't, but I'm just trying to make you understand the faults in your story. It sucks taking in negativity about your story that you like so much - believe me, I've been there, but that was years ago. Looking back, they were right. There were some faults. I just couldn't see it yet because my mind in the writing world was still at basic level. And you're at that level now, where I used to be. Maybe a little better, but it's still pretty bad. When someone insults your work, you'll say you don't care, but it will actually bother you a lot. You'll briefly think about it, get frustrated, tell yourself again and again you don't care, and then before you know it, you're either editing or looking over your writing and so on. You know I'm right. No, no one forced me to read it, but it's the stories that need help which lure critics in. Notwithstanding, I understand this outburst of yours, and if you don't listen, very well. | Reviewed By: Xeshitha [MediaMiner Member] On: February 10, 2011 19:12 EST
Comment/Review:
Wow. You talk about having no life but you guys have the time to say that to me? No. You guys simply can't see constructive criticism when it's there. I know, you probably love the story, you take offense when have says something negative about it, but you have to grow up and move past that and see that there are faults. --Me having nothing on here has nothing to do with what I know. I had plenty, then I deleted it, because it was from years ago. Haven't been on this site for a while and decided to come back, because I KNOW nearly every writer on here needs help. This would be why. And I know plenty won't accept they criticism, but they do at some point. They really won't improve if they don't. You two say that was rude, but believe you me, they can get so much more harsh. People on here butter everyone up with useless comments and criticism at all that the author starts to expect everyone to love it without fault. I've seen it happen, I know how it works. I've been around thousands of sites, read plenty of stories and comments. And yes, I write myself, ever since a young age. But how I write has no part in my criticism. Judging and writing are two very different things. I was simply stating a few things that this author needs to know. You guys might like this story, but your opinions don't mean anything to publishers. And those publishers will be professionals, they can spot a good book and one that needs loads of work. They wouldn't even consider this one. It's harsh, I know, but that's life. That's how it works. No one has time to sweet-talk. This is reality. The author here might not be thinking of publishing, but if the author writes like THIS with any of their stories, they're not going to be able to publish any story, ever. That's the hard truth. And if the author isn't thinking of publishing, well, then, okay. I'm not insulting her. The only one who is insulting people is you to me. I'm stating what needs to be fixed/and or what is going to have a negative affect on readers. And just because it did not on you or others, that does not mean only me will see the faults. There are higher-level readers existing. And no, no I was not bored. I have plenty of things to do, but I figured help the people on here, even if they'll flame me. This was on top of the section of stories I went to, so of course I clicked on it. I could tell from the summary that it wasn't going to be some professional work. Lastly, if you want to tell someone they have no talent, find proof. If they have no stories, that isn't it. Some people just don't post anything because of one: they don't have time to continuously post, two: people will steal work on post it somewhere else, which has been done countless of times. If you want to call me names, have something backing it up, or you will just look stupid, at least to those with some common sense. I meant no offense to the author, though I know it probably came out that way. But there was nothing positive I could really focus on. If you come back in a year and read this, for I'm sure your own writing will have improved, you'll see all the faults. | Title: reponse to Xeshitha
Reviewed By: lisalisa On: February 10, 2011 18:06 EST
Comment/Review:
My below comment is for you. Also, you have no homepage. Do they pay you to comment on people's writing. NO ONE NEEDS YOU, without you their life will surly go on. Were you rejected from some editor job, and now live to insult people. You have no talent and no homepage AND i hope you don't get paid for this because you suck. Please comment if you have any questions or concerns. :) | Reviewed By: lisalisa On: February 10, 2011 17:53 EST
Comment/Review:
Alright, So i don't know who you are and i really don't care either, but you're very rude. How dare you criticize anyone about their work? do u have anything on this site? Obviously you were so bored with your life that you had time to sit there and read ALL the chapters and comment on this work. There are THOUSANDS of stories on this site and you chose this story to post your rude,obnoxious comment. Get a life and move on with it! Your pathetic to even sit there and insult this author. I don't know where u see chapter sixteen on the first chapter but maybe you should go clean your eye. I don't think this story is in any way, shape or form related to twilight. So get off your high horse. The girls aren't useless, Sage is strong she just hasn't reached her full potential yet. The story isn't over and if u didn't like the story then you shouldn't of read it. How is having sex in the beginning of the story boring? Maybe your "skimming" is wrong and you need to learn to "re- skim". Also, your insulting the people who like the story and hasn't done a damn thing to you. Are you so conceited with your life that this affects you in any way?? Leave the story alone and the people who like it. If you have any questions please COMMENT. :) Have a great day | Title: in reply to Xeshitha
Reviewed By: lessie00 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 10, 2011 17:33 EST
Comment/Review:
I would like to start off by saying, who the hell do you think you are? I accept constructive Criticism whether it be good or bad, but this is a fanfiction site where people are free to express their ideas and creativity. I’m not trying to write a professional novel to be published or anything. A mistake was made when uploading the chapters, which is why the first chapter was wrong but I fixed it. If you don’t like my story, no one is twisting your arm to read it, nor do I need your unwanted opinion on how to improve my “horrible” story or characters. I’m not writing to please anyone; I do it because I enjoy it and if others enjoy it as well then that’s a bonus. This is something I do for fun and to share with anyone who wants to be apart of it. If you’re not one of those people I can assure you I won’t be losing sleep over it. I also don’t appreciate you calling my readers cliché, you’re not only insulting me but them and it’s totally uncalled for. You don’t like the story and that’s fine, but don’t get ahead of yourself. To be completely honest, your comment made me laugh a little because you are incredibly full of yourself. | Title: Xeshitha
Reviewed By: Xeshitha [MediaMiner Member] On: February 10, 2011 15:38 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 3 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 3 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 2 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
First, why does it say "Chapter Sixteen" on chapter one in this story? Second, the story has a very random start. IS this chapter sixteen, or was that on accident? Did you delete a few chapters? Because you act as if the readers know the characters here. They don't. This is an introduction (if this IS the first chapter). ----"All eyes were on them as they stepped out of the car. People were already beginning to whisper, clearly wanting to know why the new guys were hanging around the same two girls they have been publically rejecting for the past few days." This just... screams Twilight. And the best thing to do is to avoid Twilight-nit-picks at all costs. I know she wasn't the first to do this, but this whole thing is best well known from Twilight, and it's stupid, and fake. The way Chase keeps calling her "witch" is a bit stupid, too. It makes the dialogue for him seem fake. Chase is actually very bland, too. He doesn't seem bad at all. Not like that evil kind of character, but more like the cliche, boring, purposely-a-jerk character in nearly every school movie. And, with the dialogue, you state what they said or what they did, too much. It's never just straight dialogue for a bit. You always break it with their action or "she said/he said/murmured/pouted", etc. --Thoughts should be italicized, not italicized AND quoted. The example you set in this chapter for women isn't exactly too good, either. The guys are stronger than the girl (protagonist). Just like in Twilight. And in Twilight, Bella was useless. She had her boyfriend take care of her and she couldn't do crap. ---Your punctuation is a little off. And your characters are extremely flat. They seem really emotionless. You use their names a bit much and your writing is a bit boring because of how you structure the play of it all. You need to give all of the characters some emotion, make the chapter interesting and end it interestingly so that readers read on. I know you have have a few COMMENTS here. But there are the type of readers who like to read anything that is rather cliche, and then there are the readers who see fault in a story and notice grammar, the storyline, the characters. If they don't like the grammar, the characters, and if the chapter doesn't lead them on, they will stop. And that is plenty of readers lost. Honestly, I skimmed through a lot of this chapter, because it was just that boring. It wasn't because I was lost and didn't know what was going on - sometimes I really prefer it that way, but the chapter/start was just that boring. And I don't want to, in anyway, read on. ----I know I sound harsh, but you have a lot of work to do. I might have not mentioned how to fix it, but I'm rushing here. You can email me or respond in this review, for I'll check back, if you have any questions or comments regarding this all. | Title: MOREE!!
Reviewed By: DarkDemon123 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 10, 2011 15:05 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i gotta tell you something"I FREAKING LOVE THIS STORY!!" thank u sooo much 4 updating!! i REALLY LOVE this story!! KEEP WRITING AND UPDATE SOON PLZ! | Title: AWESOME
Reviewed By: DarkDemon123 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 09, 2011 15:53 EST
Comment/Review:
OMGG!!! I REALLY LUV THIS STORY!!! ESPECIALLY CHASE!!! HE SOUNDS FREAKING HOTT!!! PLEASE UPDATE SOON!! | Reviewed By: lisa00 On: July 05, 2010 21:32 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Love this story!! soo good!! Update plz!!! Cant wait to know more!!
| Reviewed By: funnyduckie1 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 04, 2010 11:03 EDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OMg .. wow.. i love Chase!! LOL this is a great story!! UPDATE PLZ!!
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