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| "To Purify" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Reviewed By: AvidRabid [MediaMiner Member] On: October 12, 2010 02:49 CDT
Comment/Review:
It made me happy. I love that she rambles, I like to read dialog aloud so that whole little monologe at the end was fun. I can't wait to see how the story unfolds. Keep up the good work.
| Title: >.
Reviewed By: shanterukeiko975 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 05, 2010 17:07 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
thanks for the mention!! >.<
so i have a few things to tell you haha(dont worry its not bad !) so to start off i really found it funny when you wrote how inuyasha believes she was auditioning for American idol..(im guessing kagome sucked or was REALLY loud) also when you wrote "Never was into shopping.."(in ch4 i think) im guessing you meant to write "She was never into" , when i read the sentence i was confused and had a "what the F-" moment I like how u included Inuyasha POV in ch4 where he first hears her and thought she was freaking out and then we he sees her he freaks out.. Now when you start mentioning them having the meal(breakfast) i would have liked for you to have descriptived the meal, using the 5 senses. i mean i can understand why you probably didnt, beacse it could have dragged the story and it was the important, i mean you dont need to over do it you could have said something along the lines like "the yummy hot and fresh pancakes on the plate, the mable syrup sliding of the top going down. The delicious aroma made his stomach growl with hunger." it makes it more "creative" and less plain& boring Well thats all for now, Continue the story!!! Ja Ne!
| Title: Past/present tense verbs
Reviewed By: shanterukeiko975 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 03, 2010 15:20 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
well hello, i really liked your story, very original and entertaining >.
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