Reviewed By: SplendentGoddess [MediaMiner Member] On: October 16, 2010 12:28 CDT
Comment/Review:
Glad you've finally gotten yourself caught up on the storyline. I think the reason they didn't go into any more detail than they did is because they were under a strict budget and time restraint to more or less hurry up and finish animating the rest of the story without any dillydallying. At least now you don't have to worry about reading any spoilers. As for your little story here, I honestly like the concept, though if you will forgive my bluntness, it's easy to tell that you're new to the fanfic world. You asked for an honest review so I'm giving you one. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your imagination or ideas. I don't think your stories are 'stupid' in that regard; I find them enjoyable and I hope you complete them. It really just boils down to your style of writing. You break up the paragraphs pretty well, but your grammar leaves much to be desired. You mix verb tense (something I used to be guilty of as well, so I know how it goes) and I also noticed little things like incorrect pluralization, incorrect capitalization, incorrect POV shifting between third-person narrative and first-person monolog...basically all novice little mistakes that you should naturally be able to clear up with more experience. I am in no way tooting my own horn, because the kami know how poor a writer I was when I first started. If you want an example, check out some of my earlier stories that I haven't yet gotten around to updating. They make me cringe. But with time and experience naturally comes maturity in any skill anyone is attempting to master. I strongly encourage you to continue writing, but to also take the time to proofread your works and to truly think about their appearance and what you have written. Think about how people speak in real life, think about your own grammar, and then read what you've written. It almost gives off the impression that English is your second language - and if it is, then I mean no offense! All I can say is that I most definitely sucked at writing when I first started, but after time I got the hang of it. Writing is not as easy as it appears, and it truly is a skill that needs to be mastered, like learning to play a musical instrument. Keep at it and don't get discouraged!
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