Title: Opinion & Suggestions
Reviewed By: Noro V. On: July 10, 2011 13:54 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm guessing that this one-shot is Maya's own instrumentality reality. Not bad in my opinion, for an one-shot anyway. Though it felt kinda of rushed when Ritsuko went straight on being intimate with Maya. You should work on a plot within the story before starting the sexual relations. Because if you don't, it wouldn't make your story, an story. You should check out other stories from other authors that are well known for this kind of category you are interested in. I recommend this one author - hawker-748. You should check out his stories to get an idea on what to do. Again, your story wasn't bad. The format of the paragraphs were too close for comfort, but the grammar and spelling made up my decision. Just work on a plot for the next story. Trust me, you will see a difference when you do. - Noro V. |
