| "A Shadowed Light" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] |
Reviewed By: Irish Rebel [MediaMiner Member] On: October 03, 2011 14:54 EDT
Comment/Review:
Love the plot so far, can't wait for the next chapter:) xx |
Reviewed By: Derpderpbird On: September 20, 2011 16:05 EDT
Comment/Review:
*threw! Damn you work! Why must you cause my brain to turn to mush?! Please ignore any spelling issues that may arise as my brain has been tenderized by 12 hours of work! =D *goes to hide in a corner so she'll stop filling up review space with random nonsense* |
Reviewed By: Derderpbird On: September 20, 2011 15:58 EDT
Comment/Review:
So since you were nice and did what I asked, I figured I would actually write a review. I think the story has potential. You seem to like switching from tenses randomly, which through me off a little. Spelling could also use a little work. The one big example I can remember is she called Yoko 'Sweaty' instead of Sweetie, or Sweety if you like. Please don't take anything I've said as a flame or a put-down. I'm just offering what little bit of help I can from a readers PoV. Thanks for posting! I'll continue reading as long as you continue posting! =D |
Reviewed By: Derpderpbird On: September 20, 2011 10:53 EDT
Comment/Review:
All I see is a giant wall of text. The lack of spacing or paragraphs makes me want to not read this. Maybe an attempt at fixing this will make me want to give it another shot. |
