Reviewed By: Bastion [MediaMiner Member] On: December 05, 2006 16:11 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
It's not very often that an author can zig (for great justice) this hard and make it work well. Though many hardcore canon types may chant "OOC!", my personal belief is that whether or not the character was originally created by you, it's ultimately *your* character. I like that you've forsaken the fanfic convention that Amara and Michelle are lovers (though the Japanese heavily hints at this) and went in a different direction. Generally, the story is written pretty well, with some minor errors here and there, but it looks like you've got something worth working on and I see you've decided to make it much more involved than just Duo and Amara, be it original (Billy) or not (Hilde). I'm glad you've decided to dedicate some time to developing a relationship between them rather than it being love at first sight. Let's see, I did get kinda annoyed with the same you did the whole street racing scene. Seems too much like it was out of Fast and the Furious and I though Duo was on a space colony? On top of that, I think if this is a good ways out into the future, I'd figure porches and such autos would be considered "classics" and thus rare when you can fly 3 story tall mechas through outer space. Unless this whole scenario is being run through Amara's consciousness and this is all a dream in which by all means, continue on... Overall, I was surprisingly pleased with this story.
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