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| "Maybe that's the problem, then..." Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Reviewed By: Otacon On: March 30, 2003 21:35 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
The story going. Keep up the good work. | Reviewed By: Sterling_Ag On: November 28, 2002 07:56 CST
Comment/Review:
Hey there...I have enjoyed this so far. Thanks for writing this for us. I would appreciate it if we could se some more of this story. Thanks for sharing and Peace^_^ | Reviewed By: JoMo On: September 12, 2002 05:44 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well, too be perfectly honest, this was both a bit too quick and also a bit too sweet for my taste. R & A just have so *many* issues to deal with first, both on a purely personal level (temperament, shyness, immaturity, lack of communication skills, defensiveness) and also on an inter-personal level (misunderstandings, insecurity about the other, doubt, interference from others).
So, the idea that they would simply JUMP from this "state of affairs" and right over into kissing, hugging and whispering sweet compliments to each other, seems rather contrived to me. Consequently, chapter 2 felt a bit like being on Page 74 of a book and then skipping straight ahead to Page 174.
This kind of thing works better for "lemon-scenery", since "Don´t Take It Too Seriously" is practically the gospel of such things. However, when it´s just a R&A relationship thing, then I kinda´expect things to proceed quite slowly (two steps forward.... one and a half steps backwards)
Apart from this I have no complaints about the story itself and found it to be really enjoyable !! | Reviewed By: Anata [MediaMiner Member] On: September 11, 2002 20:32 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is very kawaii so far. I like how you got them together, but I'm not sure either of them would move that fast.
But, hey....it's fanfiction. Your story, your rules, ne? I hope you post the next part soon.
Anata | Reviewed By: Shane On: September 05, 2002 13:01 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well, I liked it this far and I would definetly like to see a follow up. It´s really quite a bit too short to shout "Hurrah!" about yet but it looks promising. |
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